tôt le matin-25.06.21

cast off

your unwilling 

flesh 

don’t hide

fire burning bright

Log off 

from 

militaristic industrial complex

Log off 

from 

puritanical conscripts

Satyrs were characterized by their ribaldry and were known as lovers of wine, music, dancing, and women. 

Embrace this satyr

Run with me

Through existential mists

Run through the planes of existence 

Beyond

Good

Beyond

evil

Past

Norms

Past 

inhibitions’

past who you 

Are: 

second person singular present and first, second, third person plural present of be 2)self

are 

come with me 

to 

who you will

be

tôt le matin: early morning predawn

tôt le matin

hallucinogenic predawn hours

air damp warm

lose yourself

find your soul

as

 dawn breaks 

illuminating everything

 Prayers-07.06.21

I know you

Restorative: having the ability to restore health, strength, or a feeling of well-being.

Believe in restorative diety

I know that you do

Before you leave

Say a prayer

For me

I‘ll have coffee

Smoke a spliff

contemplate

Van Gogh's

ear

Contemplate

all

unanswered

prayers

Swimming-07.06.21

That devil’s smile

Our Lady of 10,000 sorrows

Some

Begged

some

Borrowed

Some

Stolen

a pretty face

fell from grace

Into my arms

we could

start a revolution

In bed

Or

we could

Get high

Or

we could

seek enlightenment

or

we could

go swimming

By the light house

Swimming: using your arms and legs to move through water2)what we can’t say to each other

Or

 Lilith-24.05.21

holding onto Lilith

Lilith, female demonic figure of Jewish folklore. 2)She is the ex-wife (first wife) of Adam, the first human, wife of Lucifer, queen of hell

Old soul

Mystical woman-child

couldn’t

hold on

too

So

Went

Underground

So low

So high

Rebel angel

asked me for

Smoke

Said call me Nico

no cash

She produced a match

You don’t need any smiling

What pulls me

To Lilith

Is what pulls

me to madness

Nico says

GO

where

Day before yesterday

Laying back wings spread

To whom you were

To whom you will be

Lilith can wait

 Mean 19.05.21

mean can describe someone who's stingy, angry and cold  2)importance to (someone/mermaid/pink spider), object of affection. 3) signify

Mean

So much

To

MEAN

So little

To her

Covax, the global vaccine-sharing program, will receive about 200 million doses of the Johnson and Johnson vaccine

Intoxicated

I read the Holy books

I contemplated n existence & nothingness

I found God and all of the devil's inside of her.

Intoxicated

I let her swim away

liberated

If you know

what

I mean

 Copping-17.05.21

Waking

Not at peace

Rockets and airstrikes light the skies over Gaza-genocide

HOLLOW

Coughing

RAW

NEED

Monkey screaming

Cop: to get hold of catch, capture also: purchase

Needing to cop

A fix

Dope: a drug taken illegally for recreational purposes, typically heroin. 2) you think something, or someone is cool

A hand pulls me into the shower

My dope

Pulls me inside

RAVENOUS

Steam from her fire

Water splashing

Erotic baptism

Kiss

embrace

The monkey quits 

screaming 

clawing

biting

Blood surging

oxytocin

endorphins

redemption

straight 

to

dope 

centre 

of the

soul

copping my fix

 Redemption prayer-09.05.21

looking for answers on a Sunday morning 

looking for a   fix in this underground existence

Redemption: belief in the idea that humanity can be saved from sin - redeemed

seeking redemption in these dirty sheets

Transfiguration: 1) a change in form or appearance:2) metamorphosis. 3) an exalting, glorifying, or spiritual change. 4)  climax of sexual encounter characterized by feelings of pleasure, dopamine, epinephrine

looking for transfiguration in betwixt sweaty thighs

 watch-04.05.21

It’s fact

on the day my lover   left  for the other side

seagulls

plucked her eyes out and flew them

to Paris showing her

Notre Dame

the Louvre

then flew

over the pyramids

flew them over the Vatican

to the coast leaving

them

Watch: watching or observing someone or something closely; alert and vigilant

to watch over

dolphins

watch over

artist

watch over

children

watch over

me

 Gone-01.05.21 

funeral pyres turn the Indian night into day

never wanted to be your part-time   lover

I only wanted to be some kind of friend

Love

 could never steal you from another 

come to  me

when you feel me

flee me when you don’t

feel me

love me when I am 

Gone:no longer present; departed 2)  completely high and/or intoxicated to a point of no return 3)lost in love/ cool /art/music

gone

 Alone-04.14.95-later

In a bar

Next too

The place

Where my friend dances for men,

you say she sells  herself

nicotine  stained lungs I speak to you in tongues

And you say my life is a mix of Picasso, Kerouac

Lines, gin and women

I am too high to notice too gone to care

You say my

Madness comes from sadness

Then you

Quit saying anything

Still I miss you

All you left me

Was

Alone: having no one else present 2)Not having anybody. 3)indescribable state of being.  

ALONE

 Honey trap-26.04.21

you Don't admit that it's part of  your agenda

I can't stop thinking

I ain't quite as daft as you think

I am sussing

Honey trap: is an investigative practice involving the use of romantic or sexual relationships for political (including state espionage 2)in cases, to capture or kill the target and gain intelligence

Honey trap

 human-21.04.21

morning tangerine sky

a chill

smell of coffee

warmth  that is her

human perfume

Mermaid out of water

just human

benediction 

embrace

Benediction: a service in which the congregation is blessed with the Blessed Sacrament

Kiss

redemption

Redemption: the idea that humanity can be saved from sin - redeemed 

redemption

human 

 27.03.16-second coming-later

some wait 

fiery judgments’ 

angry condemnations

swords of vengeance

horrendous wars

rapture

a beast

heavy metal  imagery

4 horseman

The four horsemen: Pestilence, War, Famine and Death; comprise the four horseman

I wait 

you my lover

your soft laugh

your passionate touch

fuck the righteous

heaven was

always 

where ever

you are

hell is where ever

you’re not

the dark rider of the apocalypse

waiting for 

the second coming

cocktail in hand

lines on the mirror

 why?-17.04.21

why she asks

everyone asks how

I am good with why

black coffee

debriefed: question (someone, typically a  spy) about a completed mission or undertaking.2) direct questioning by MI6 or a woman you’ fancy.

casually debriefing me

laughing eyes

Mona Lisa smile

it’s been so long

my time at

“Combat”: clandestine newspaper of the French Resistance, editor Albert Camus

“Combat”

fighting fascism

with

absurdist armies

of

the night

fighting

with

passion

she knows the how’s, when’s

she 

is

why

 The last souls-16.04.21

 

the lost souls

infinite universe

cold

dark

one

galaxy

9

planets

2

flawed souls

step outside

of space

step outside

of time

step outside

Routine: a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program. 2) cages of our own making 

of your routines

step outside

your rituals

Ritual: a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. 2) building blocks of mental illness

we’re the

last souls

 She-12.04.21

let me out of me grave

let slip me leash

she shouldn’t be scared

she wanted my hunger

she lit the fuse

Explosion: breaks up into more than one piece and it therefore changes its shape.2) petite mort 

going to feast on her

It’s

fictional?

It’s

Mystical?

It’s

Existential?

Only in moments of

Weakness

Does she need me

now

Does she need me

Now?

 Swimming-10.04.21

another mass shooting

the pain has to go some were

all they doi s eat, buy guns, and watch tele

troglodytes fired a burst in anger

you’re like that game

Frag Grenade:  L109A1 

grenade is a fragmentation hand grenade used by the . The HG85-ki radius 2 metres

forward firebase Julie-burning cigarette rubber band holding the spoon frag grenade pin long gone  ‎L96a1

A3 close

Spoon: the safety lever , while  depressed  will not expolde

fear in your eyes you woke Vampyre

yes, he will feed on you, your talent beauty

pure dope

vampyre shaking need, hunger, want

don’t run to the desert

don’t call sister

Don't give it name

call it swimming

you’re  just

swimming

 Fever dream-07.04.21

caught

her

vacuum of my stare

gifted her

Affliction: something that causes pain or suffering

affliction

blood throbbing in her thighs

fire in burning I her in her eyes

sweat on her heaving breasts

are 

listening

to me

Fever Dreams: vivid dreams you have when your body temperature is elevated

This fever dream is everything

 Hot and bothered-06.04.21

Swims to me 

Breathelessly

whispering

Hot

hot: having a high degree of heat or a high temperature.2) sexually aroused; lustful sexy; attractive

same breathless voice

 2 syllables

Bothered: concerned about something. Upset, anxious, or rattled.2) sexually aroused

swims to the deep end

beckoning me

she’s

Hot and bothered

3 syllables

that change everything

I go deep

Existential outlaw-05.04.21

.45 absurd auto in my belt

betwixt planes

pink spiders

hunt me

Angels 

Haunt me

some seek to classify me add me to their collection

my crimes

against 

reality

against 

time

against 

love

exiled and shunned

from

the 3  beer circus

by

General Tom Thumb: a dwarf who rose to fame as a circus performer

General Tom Thumb

underground

drink

loose exile

pink spiders

a dime

I told her

Just

How it end

No future

Only now

On the run

Wanted dead or alive

Existential  outlaw

Quien es? -Billy the kid's last words answered by a bullet to the heart 

a knock

I know who it is

Quien es?