30.09.15 flags

I see the flag

I fight the urge

to 

respond

once I ran 

to her

now 

I run from her

And

Her

Sweet

Sweet

Lies

The flag of   sweet lies and need

Run

Don’t walk

29.09.15-mad romantic
my mad romantic
sent me
AWAY now
all I have is gin
and
a jukebox
and
a willing
accomplice

27.09.15 magenta pout for KL

Woman

with

magenta pout

A

Rainy Sunday 

Lemmy on the jukebox   

So tan 

smoky eyes looking 

my

way platinum hair flipping

an angel in the land of vampyres 

and

demons

maybe  this

the 

heaven 

she seeks

then

this

this vampyric demon

will

take her

underground

I will

claim her

and 

create

my hellish 

nirvana

26.09.15 La llorona
La llorna called me
she had a weak moment
I answered
her soft boozy voice
a pavlovian response
I bloody know better
Pulling off  a scab
to make her feel better
It always ends
In
shambles
and
me drinking
her away

26.09.15 chemistry class

I noticed

You

noticing me

 I Believe 

In

spontaneous combustion

I believe  

in

The chemistry 

I believe

in

Love at first sight

I

believe 

in 

fate

I 

Believe

In rolling dice

I 

Believe

In

tonight

25.09.15 word

there should 

be

a word which 

describes longing for the unattainable.

It would be coloured

Grey

And

Sould

Like

Blues guitar
and drinking alone

25.09.15-unseen and 

Out of sight

none of your clique,

without your documentation

for your admirers

the standing army who’s’ attentions you 

subsist on 

unseen and out of sight

I 

construct new realities

25.09.15-unseen and unseen

Out of sight

none of your clique,

without your documentation

for your admirers

the standing army who’s’ attentions you 

subsist on 

unseen and out of sight

I 

construct new realities

unseen and out of sight

I

create freely, with  no limits

unseen and out of sight

I 

Watch as 

Breakfast burns

In celebration

unseen and out of sight

I am 

Free

unseen and out of sight

I am

Where 

I belong 

24.09.15 Our Lady of Broken Hearts 

 Shrine of Immaculate Deception

I 

don’t hate

her

I 

hate

Me

She was always going to 

my

decline 

I 

Saw 

The wreckage, and ravaged souls

I

Ignored her blood stained hands

I

Embraced her sweet, sweet lies

Like 

Divine revelation

I

Sought her practised

Deception 

Like 

enlightenment

I 

Thought I was immune

It was just her nature 

She was always going to be 

My ruin

23.09.15 Junk Jesus
DON’T repent
Junk Jesus
is COMING
turning
Nyquil
into
China White
Making works
Immaculate
leading
us to
Perfect
our disease
JUNK JESUS
SAVES!

23.09.15 baggage

I have gathered

all the baggage

That you gave 

this demon

please find

Your lost loves

empty  dreams

the man

The only one

You gave yourself completely to

Then lost yourself to

Then nearly killed yourself for

Find 

Your true love

That you withheld yourself from

And 

lost completely 

and now

an apparition

forever

waiting 

for reciprocation

forever haunting  

you

I am

Keeping the razor blades, and pills

Your strength  seems hollow

Your confidence counterfeit

Please take everything

This demon 

Has waited

With 

your apparitions

waiting for acknowledgment

too long

Liquid lunch

“You still specialise in these dives” Blair say’s pulling up a stool, and placing her designer handbag on the bar and plucking out a black plastic card, and ask’ s,  “Have you eaten?” She looks great in a sundress, and sky-high espadrilles
“Of course, these things come with olives, love” plucking out the olive and feeding it to her.  She makes a show of it taking the toothpick and returning it.
“OK, who’s the bitch? Did she shatter your illusions of love? You have illusions of love?  “ Blair asks the last part sounding slightly incredulous.
She snatches my iPhone scrolls through photos, and Demands “Her!” I signal for   bartender I explain both, our involved martinis and instruct that, until told otherwise, these drinks come like clockwork.
“She’s pretty!” I answer.
“She is and also not your type.” Blair say’s with certainty.
“I don’t have a type,” I answer.
Enjoying the fire in Blair’s eyes.  She rises out of her stool. She motions with her along the sides of her body, and say’s this is your type tall, blonde, thin.  And baby blues I have known you for years, and in a police line-up we would be hard to differentiate, my sorority sisters, then girls from the agency. All the same type. I read your poems, and I am not getting someone who was good for you. I am getting, that you fixed her, and she’s done. I hope the sex was good.”
“This would be a good time for the next drink, and subject change. “I say. And signal for another round.
Blair whispers in my ear. “”I get the whole Bukowski vibe lets get out of here” waving the bartender to settle the tab.
In her car she plays Lana del Rey and lights up a spliff.  I relax, and we take off touring the neighbourhood, then she starts’ “So, how was the sex?”
This was weird as usually that’s where I usually start, but it didn’t happen then  it was over. This whole thing makes no sense.” I answer
Blair looks t me uncourageously and say’s “This is not you! You’re not as tender as all that, I have seen you not talk to someone again, because you had been on 2 sexless dates. This is not you. In about 10 minutes you will have no memory of that, woman we’re going to your place, and scare your puppies.  We pull into my driveway. “Who’s staring at us?” Blair ask’ s.
I look in the rear-view mirror, and I answer “Marcy, the lead real housewife of  summer’s Eve Manor.”
“You like her Blair ask’ s. pulling her hair into a pony tail. Puts the windows down tosses the roach. Then stares across the street and her head drops into my lap as she unfastens my jeans and starts doing down on me. I no longer remember my name.
She comes up kisses me, and says, “Now that she has something to talk about lets go inside, and do this right” I walk her to the door, and let her in my shirt strategically  placed..
“Strip! I tell her and put some music on, and grab a bottle of Champagne pour two flutes she I watch from wriggles out of her sundress to music.   Dancing in bra and panties until they come off too.  I call her over hand her champagne.  She takes a long swallow and puts it down. I take drink put mine down. I kiss her caressing her gently feeling her nipples erect under my touch hips are swaying rhythmically. I take her by the hand lead to the bedroom.
Blair says Anything, but missionary. If I wanted boring I would do my husband.” I throw her in bed. Fashion a blindfold out of a neck tie, and tell her “wait” I go to the kitchen   get a bowl and put ice in it, then go back to Blair she’s on all fours, I turn her on her back kiss her then run ice along her nipples followed by my tongue,
and repeat between her thighs on labia. “Just fuck   me!” Blair screams I tease her for a few more minutes. I take off her blindfold and take her from behind. We arrive together Blair screaming. And I have serious chemistry.
“I read your poetry the first 72 hours of detox are tough you call me if you think of that woman.  I have to get home.” Blair says dressing. It takes me a couple of moments to realise whose she’s talking about.

22.09.15 strategy

before I could shave 

triangulating cross fire

and wings

then the streets

later

metrics’ of dollars 

and

market domination

Firefights

street fights

mergers

and acquisitions

places

where

living l is winning

accumulated

scars

you can hide behind

ideals 

and lofty

pursuits

with
your entourage of talented wounded

I may 

Come heavy

But this

Even

Vampyres' know

Love

Is the only strategy 

For survival

21.09.15-people will talk

You’re talking but it’s not your voice

Deconstructing me looking for an agenda

It’s not there

Not in public!

People talk

I am the secret no one knows

The secret who 

Carries 

All 

Of your 

Secrets

The secret that’s 

The target of your clique

The secret you trusted 

With

Your life

The secret

You need when

You need

And dismissed when you don’t 

The secret 

You tell half truths, and sweet lies to

In a soft voice

The dirty little

Secret

To be kept

Hidden in the dark

People will talk

21.09.15 monster
you came to me
not because
I am a hero
but
ecause
I am not
because
you needed
A monster
strong and cold,
street fighter
savvy and  blooded
When
I saved you
You
Told me
sweet, sweet lies
each prettier than the last
I think
You
Almost believed
Them
In weak moments
monsters are strong!
I did too
I knew
the rules
even if you did
not
I knew
It always end’s
this way
I just go underground
you
can’t/won’t save me
I am too
FAR
gone

The last time

The Last Time
The last time you stood me up; I showed up at the party anyway. My date was stunning, and the opposite of you.  Younger, taller, surgically enhanced, and actually into me. I smiled at your ex, and introduced her; for once his cameras for eyes, and gossiping were going to work for me.  We stayed just long enough then, while you were making excuses, she was making love to me.  While you were playing games her nails marked my back. While you were worried what everyone would think her screams filled my night. While you kept a safe distance she was my breakfast.  The last time you stood me up I got the message, and she got me.
Go to your ex, with his victim of love game. It will offset your fear of love perfectly. The last time you stood me up, was the last time you will ever get the chance . While it will be something you don’t immediately notice, as she and I are not part of the clique you revere so. The last time you stood me up , was last call for us

19.09.15 kinky obscene

My name in your  head 

my words  make you wet

you’re  so, kinky  and obscene

I am the demon

That

Makes you

Scream

My

Name burned into your 

Sin

I 

Am

Your weird sin

you’re so kinky and obscene

19.09.15 spiders

a pink spider

lovely, sexy, sweet

then

the bite

venom bring’ s  a new  consciousness

of spiders everywhere

black widows 

in my bed

Russian spiders 

in the bar

pink spiders, 

watching, and hiding 

waiting for venom to kill 

spiders every where

18.09.15 then say good-bye

it was always about 

her

never about 

us

a Vampyric demon’s protection 

is prompt and strong

she needed it to stop

she 

needed me

she  

was always going to be my ruin

she’s done  

then just say good-bye

there’s nothing 

Here

But then

there never was

18.09.15 Angels

Angels must be horrifying 

Such  beauty and perfection 

Feeling like it might 

annihilate 

Demons

Repulsive and flawed

strangely

comforting

and familiar

in a flawed

ugly world  

demons are all 

to common

Angels

to rare

17.09.15-audience

she doesn’t  need me 

she has an audience

she doesn’t need me

she has fans

she doesn’t need 

me

Pickups, and Hook-ups
This bar is unapologetically a dive. It's a good night not too crowded, nor are my and my friends the only people here.  Everyone I know has gone to the patio to smoke.
 I notice her tall, blonde little black dress she's hard to miss. I grab My Tanqueray, and tonic and walk to the jukebox.  Digital effects, or maybe it's the gin.  " Play something I can dance to," She asks' s.
"I can't feel my face, " I answer. While selecting the song.
She touches my cheek, and asks, "Are you feeling sick, or are you really, really high?" She asks nervously giggling, flipping her hair.
"Your name officer?" I answer.
  "Maddie" She answers laughing.
 "I'm not high, or sick. I was asking if you liked that song by the weeknd? She and her friend start laughing, as the song comes on Maddie and friend start dancing, there's not a dance floor, but there is a clear space in front of the dartboard.  Her friend is a petite Brunette   also in cocktail attire. They dance sensually with each other stroking and playing. They now have my undivided attention. Maddie locks eyes with me and then takes her friends hand brings up to her face starts sucking her finger. Her friend is pressing against her.
 After the song Maddie comes over, and says, "Katie Lynn and I do everything together, that scare you?
"Intrigues me, but I think I want another drink.
Oh yeah, She says "I am going   to the lady's, don't stop thinking about me." I watch her walk away and her walk is sexy as if her hips were fluid, I can see her hip bones. She is tight.
 "Sweet walk, " Katie Lynn says and brings me back to earth. I hand her a margarita.  She sits next to me and begins to talk, "Maddie and me are roomies, she likes you, but, she's coming home with Me." laughing hand on my thigh. Maddie sits on the other side of me; whispers back "Check your pocket when you're alone."
I down my drink in one swallow and kiss Maddie excuse myself. The women giggling behind I take out my phone text my friend, that something came I will be back. She's downing drinks talking to her bestie. I won't be missed.
In my pocket are Middies' purple lacy panties, and a note "I have Civ Pro early let's go somewhere, now, or never."  I go back to the bar. I take Maddie by the hand I am going to get some air, come with me." She says something to Katie Lynn, I watch her slide off the stool her body has me in a trance.
Outside the door Maddie says "Who's the bitch?" her tone is at once amused and angry.
"What are we talking about?" I answer.
"When you kissed me, there was someone else on your mind
"You're projecting love, you're daft, and you're human Viagra. I am focused on you!" I answer. How do women always bloody know? I am trying to drink, a sexy virus off my mind
"You're sure," she pleads.  I just kiss her She puts my hand on her labia, which is moist. I trace circles' on her clit. Her hips are moving rhythmically we are leaning against a grey pickup; I pull her in the bed of the truck I roll on top of her. She rolls me over straddles me pulls her dress over her head unbuttons my jeans. Even in the dark. I can see her easily she moans and screams, moans, claws my back when I lean up to kiss her, and suck her nipples.  She screams, grinds and rides me to a shuddering orgasm.
 "Get dressed this isn't my truck,"  I tell her. I pull me jeans up.
 "You're bastard, but fuck that was fun. We will have to do this again, Maddie says leaving.
I realise that, even as I watch her walk away, that  sexy virus is still in my brain.

16.09.15 Rolling

wasted that just

how

we roll

ignoring 

the millions of walking dead

alive!

Strolling   in passion 

rolling in

Sex

Rock N’ Rolla 

Party  Girl

Pure rock n’ roll

Degenerately

Rocking  each other’s

world

In 

Bloody 

Public

Stare 

We  

don’t care

we’re just rolling  through

rock n’ roll

hearts

rock n’  rolling 

in

the

night

15.09.15 strategy

her eyes 

the colour

of the steely Moscow  skies

of her youth

hair the colour

of winter wheat 

                                                                lost when I found her 

she 

was 

everyone’s girl

but 

she belonged to no one

the morals

and

flexibility of pink spider

she was at war with her life

and

herself

she asked for my darkest fantasy

knowing  she  would

become it

in return

I taught her 

Love is the 

only strategy

for survival

15.09.15 lonely  

Sometimes lonely 

but 

rarely

alone

today 

both

alone

lonely

underground 

Angel calls to me inviting me to

her world

just for a small  moment 

above ground

not alone

not Lonely

14.09.15 parameters

I will

Be 

Sensible

I

Will

Tell no one

Not even

You

I

Understand

The parameters

Of

“us”

14.09.15 sensation
you tell me you’re
a
sensation
no one
else
no one
like you
I am
Plague
A
Curse
She is sex on legs
While you’re
Gauging
The benefits V. risks
of “us”
She’s
Making
Love to me
While you’re analysing
the effect
Of
Me on your
Prestige
She’s screaming
 My name
Being authentic, caring and a little
Decadent
That
Is
 sensational

14.09.15 crave

hot

craving

me

little black 

dress

model figure

Tapping stilettos’ 

To music

Standing  in front of me like 

Venus on ecstasy

A soft Balkan accent in my head

And I crave

you

14.09.15 everything, and nothing

why you wake up in the 

morning

your routine

what keeps you up 

at night

dreams

fears

Your tattoo

We both 

Know 

Too much, 

yet 

nothing

13.09.15 03:00 pink spiders

night and drink cool

the 

blonde

hot

pink spiders attack

junk, acid, 

and 

Cyanide

Weak distillations

no cure

pink spider  venom

12.09.15 black widow

black widow

mates

and

kills

love is

always 

fatal

there is only 

one

question 

does she love

before

she kills?

12.09.15 bad luck

I saw a pink 

she  was  pretty

and 

harmless

je ne sais quoi, 

trop belle

nothing be troubled over

a sweet diversion

then

suddenly 

she bit me

was 

that

sweet venom 

love

or just bad luck?

11.09.15

the day the world changed

I was trying, to 

 Pull, and run figures

Throw up some reports

La Notasha ran to me

Crying pulling me took me to the monitors 

She held me arm shuddering and sobbing

Planes where falling from the skies

the day I changed

Angelica sent me a message

That turned into a second that turned into thousands

Two attacks 

one on building’s

one on my heart

10.09.15 ballerina

ballerina

 voodoo 

queen

long blonde hair 

long tan legs

don’t say 

a

word

so eloquent with

your body

so comfortable 

in

Your

Skin

ballerina

 voodoo 

queen

begin the ritual 

with me

ballerina

 voodoo 

queen

10.09.15 you’re not my type

love is just a bad memory 

from your youth

you’re not my type

I am walking 

Proof

Walking on the roof of the ocean staring at the stars

You’re not my type

Your love and affection

Seem so false

You’re   not my type

you don’t want me

you just like the attention

you’re not my type

this   ain’t boy meets girl

you don’t want me

you just like the attention

you don’t want me

you just like the attention

You’re   not my type

09.09.15 answers

I love you

shhh

don’t answer

I don’t need 

to know

Old Man
I walk upon him fast. I grab the shoulder of an older man grey ponytail and goatee
“Old man! Take all those nasty rumours now multiply ten times; still not even close.  Your friends are absolutely correct I do toast my mates, "Vive la mort, vive la guerre, vive le sacre mercenaire!” I am staring him in the eye. He is visibly uncomfortable.
“Can you imagine the pressure of someone who learned not to feel at 16? Now imagine someone has awakened me. What do you think happens when I am awakened? I will tell you it is like a bag of very pure china white shot into your neck. It is so powerful, that it knocks the monster that I am, on my arse. It is so beautiful, that I cannot believe it.
You talk trash about her, because you feel slighted. I don’t care what you feel, and at your age and an ex-wife you have never been hurt, is that even possible. Know this I don’t fucking care!
You are now doing something you are not capable of dealing with consequences’ that is pissing me off! There are pieces of blokes, younger, stronger, and harder than you in the sink, when I floss. Walk out, or be carried out, and old man either way works for me.” I turn my back to him. He won’t attack, or mention the conversation. The look on his face is pure fear. Some people are Doctors they heal, some are accounts they regulate finances. I am a Vampyric walking study in demonology, and fear is what I do.

09.09.15  breakfast

Breakfast can burn

you will be late

I will be absent

Watching you

Long hair spilling 

On your café au lait tan

I am taking 

You

You’re my home

You’re my country

and

my lust

a goddess 

as you lay down

possessed

as you take

 and

 give pleasure

my garden

of

1,000 indulgences

my decadent wanton 

lover

08.09.15-hitchhiking

I found

Her

Looking Angelic and lost

The sign she was carrying said 

take me  to Mati

She was 

Baba 

Yaga

Wearing 

His

Clothes

Telling me his dogma

she jumped in my

car

and got

under my skin

08.09.15-hitchhiking

I found

Her

Looking Angelic and lost

The sign she was carrying said 

take me  to Mati

She was 

Baba 

Yaga

Wearing 

His

Clothes

Telling me his dogma

she jumped in my

car

and got

under my skin

07.09.15 kiss

Hit’s me

Just like junk

Taking me to that place

Outside space and time 

Nothing  

I ever 

tasted before

made of light

connecting to 

you

in 

new 

ways

you put 

my 

hand on 

breast

can you 

feel

my

black heart 

it 

just

started beating

07.09.15- frost

see it

feel it

hear it

that's the distance 

you put 

between 

us

and now

it’s 

too far

to reach 

across

06.09.15 holiday plans

to fight

this reality

this harsh world 

our hero

will 

mount

a 

white horse

to

underground

this

will be 

sanctuary

from 

dead kids on tele

and 

purge

 pink  spider

venom

06.09.15 intercession of Our Lady

Our Lady of broken hearts’

Has intercede

On your behalf

Please 

Do not mistake 

This for

Mercy

I have none

Don’t mistake 

This for 

a get out of jail card

I am coming

If it

Happens again

06.09.15 bloodlust

I am 

A 

Man

I don’t gossip 

Old man do you

Imagine, your age

And connections

Are

Protection ?

Recalculate

Heartbreaker

Life taker

This vampyre 

Feels 

Hunger

For blood 

Owed

The demon

Must be

paid

05.09.15

heaven 

always closer

with

music

closer 

with

a 

cherished friend

04.09.15 starker’s

how the  fuck

did you

get 

here

standing naked

this what you wanted 

in the night 

you’re a woman

I am a man

the curtains

and door 

closed

so why it is how hard 

to 

believe 

you’re naked

with 

me?

No Salt for day-trippers
We all know this place on the east side you go into the basement then there’s a warren of tunnels. Urban legend has it lined with bodies if you pissed off the heavies who run this. You’re always lead there’s the room people leaning against wall nodding, out fixing over in the corner a couple a men in suits. They’re smoking off foil. I am nervous but my guide nods, that it’s cool.  I am waiting for Jill so we can take a shot together. She got a trick or it would be a sick day, at rot-away beach chugging Vick’s.
Jill shows true love, as she could get high without me. The suits are checking her out. She is already starting to get sick nose running. We don’t have much.  It’s enough for a quick nod, and not to get sick.
I am coming down. I see the suits, smoking China white.  My mouth waters, I want I feel the switchblade in my pocket, but seeing our minders’ shuts that down. I would disappear fed to rats in the tunnels.
Jill leans over and, whispers in my ear “I am going to work them for some china white.” She is wearing her mini, fishnets heels her work clothes. About half the woman here are dressed like, that.
Jill at 17 is a good deal “fresher.” The Westchester cheerleader her bleached platinum hair body by junk still turn’s heads.  She walks over to them. *I see her smiling shaking hands and sitting. She is now the envy of every junkie of the lower eastside.  This is serious dope.
They’re no longer smoking; they’re scoffing it up as they nod Jill who has the tolerance of a bull rhino is taking some of their stash. Under the guise of collecting it for safe keeping for   these tourists. They have everything I see shiny clean spikes rubber, tourniquets some high end junkie kit.  I know what she’s saying, if you’re going to smoke it, scoff it, then shot it; more bang for the buck.”
She hits the first one he’s out, then the second.  The second starts convulsing, and turning blue. He is ODing,
Jill still has a soul she screams for  “salt, he’s dying!” a syringe of kosher salt and water to stop the OD. I don’t why it works, but it does.
I have the same bemused look everybody else does. I look at her, and say, “No salt for day trippers.” The minders drag him out, and his friend they will put them on the street, and call an ambulance unlike us they would be missed.
Jill has the stash, and the two are quickly forgotten. She asks why did no one help?”
“They were day-trippers out on the city, not one of us,” I answer. I am loving this kit, that she managed to steal, and the best dope in Manhattan. I let her nod. I need to go somewhere else if I want to keep this.  The dope tastes so good, but I have to wait, or let the heavies feed me to the rats.

03.09.15 water nymph

In

The surf

Watching 

You undress 

From you sundress

Glancing at me over your shoulder

Dropping 

to

Your knees

Surf washing

Over you again 

and 

Again

Laughing like a child 

Surrendering to the rhythms’ 

Dancing 

With

Surf and sun

Eyes closed hips and torso 

swaying

Sensual innocence

I take your hand you pull me towards you

And surrender

To me

02.09.15 blue
I need a drink
A shot
Love me all night
Push away my madness
My sadness
I have gone totally
Dark
This vampyre
Needs to feed
On your  light
Your love
No
I am
Not
Alone
But
Lonely
They have not your
Passion
Blue’s
And beauty
the  blue’s is colour of the place I where I  wait for you

Tour guide takes a pet
“Elisie do you like it here?” I ask her. A bloody Mary by the pool
She brightens “yes, yes “ lifting her Mimosa
“I can give you passage to Macedonia if you fancy, no string’s” I offer. She hits me with a pout.
“I left Macedonia on purpose I am an accountant I work hard, for you, I thought I was coming to work, I paid the Chechnyanian’s 30,000 USD. I thought everything would be good.” Elisie said on the verge of tears. I take her hand, and get images of the agency, and staff in city Centre of Skopje. Cerberus is in the process of making of making reservations, and arrangements. He could if he put his three heads to it, come up with, the field unification equation. He remembers to order food. We don't travel like mortals. We will both being in Macedonia, and back before, she awakes.
The Aleksandar Palace
I am in the shape of one of my favourite incarnations. I fund this one on E10th Ave in the East Village.  He was a guitar bum, mourning a girlfriend. It seemed by fighting, and living on skag, cigarettes and whiskey. He is close to Elisie age. He messed up my other incarnation, to be fair, the other incarnation was old, but he nearly decapitated with, a Sykes Fairbairn boot Dagger. Just who’s laughing now Old boy. ” I left NYC soon after he was person of interest in a bit of nasty business. He hang’s out at my villa in hell partying with the fallen angels. Cerberus is wearing a service dog vest.    I am in cheap suit. I want to ooze   yuppie wannabe, perhaps with a touch of PTSD from action Kosovo. In short someone who wanted to get out of town.
The players who enslaved Elisie. The Chechnyanian’s come forward
The one, with no neck, and male pattern baldness asks’
“You’re interested in working abroad?”
“No, you owe my friend Elisie Pavlovski 30,000.00 USD, and I here to collect let’s say with interest 65,000. Cerberus locks the door lowers blinds.
The Chechnyanian’s produce AK’s we morph to our true forms, to their horror. Baldie starts empty clips, as do the others except for one who runs. Let him tell his story. He will be institutionalized. I drain, Cerberus devours. We step outside the repo man is there. He’s been busy. You know when they say, “Hell ain’t   half full? It’s true.
“Getting a shade moralistic in your second millennium” Repo man, tells us.
“No, Vidi Veni Vici, payback is a serious mother fuck” I answer
“ Wasn’t that, your cousin? You two have so much in common like say Cleo” Repo man say’s and disappears. He loves getting in the last word.
Back at my house Elisie is waking up. She sees me Cerberus by the pool. My phone rings it’s a 310 area code. I know who it is “ “Hello Cleo”
“Repo Man says you have some blonde pet you really like” Cleo said the line goes dead Cerberus. Goes by Elisie. Cleo is 2054 years old when she gets ticked off it’s not pretty.

02.09.15 breakfast burning

I know you have other things,

I know you’re late

I know you must get dressed 

I know you’re trying to cook

I know I don’t care

I know the breakfast will burn 

I know the taste of your lips and hips

I know I must have you

Black Widow Morning
I awake I see her she is sound asleep. and if it were not for the inconvenient fact, that this is my flat. I am pretty sure the only things in the refrigerator cigarettes a, bottle of Moet, various mixers, and diet coke. The upside of dating models is they don’t eat much. The downside is they’re narcissistic to the point of being autistic.
I should slide out pop in the shower and brush my teeth.  I start to and she puts arm across my chest lying on her back. I examine her. Long blonde hair, tall we match   about the same length.   I notice on her left breast 3 freckles that form a triangle; if I had a sharpie I would connect them.
. On her side is a deep angry scar, which speaks of grievous injury; of which I know nothing about. There’s a mole on her collarbone, which looks like the ones they of warn in cancer pamphlets. She sleeps like a child.
A few months ago Sarah Sexton-Boyd lay here before going to Camden. We went dancing the night before, and after drinking and sex she lay there further than, any transatlantic flight would take her. She left a week or, so before she physically left.  The last night, I asked her back hard questions, which I already   knew the answer to.  
Last night I remember talking about Prague, and she said, “Better, than Paris, cheaper cleaner, everyone speaks English.” I did not argue rule one don’t argue non-essentials, with attractive available women, as nothing good can come of this.
I notice her legs she must be a runner.    On her Mons Venus a tattoo of a black widows spider just to the side of the landing strip. I vaguely remember kissing it.  It’s going to be a long Sunday. I’ll forget to rinse the shampoo out my hair. I will play Amy Winehouse, NIN, and Billie Holiday all day. Have a shouting match with old man’s across the commons Boston terrier. I will both wish was in love, and be happy I am not.
She stirs I feign sleep. I listen to her take a shower, and get dressed when I hear the clicking of heels I watch her walk out closing door behind her. I dash intro the loo. I see a note “Inga, with a #, lip prints where she blotted. I toss in the dustbin, and jump in the shower. The black widow was cool.

01.09.15

everyone loves you

but

you’re always alone

no one loves me

but 

I am 

I am rarely alone

you don’t 

love me

you 

need

me

my dark protection

my demonic strategies 

Coffee, or wine chats

love me

don’t love me

keep me

let me go

just decide

because

while 

you’re trying to decide

she’s 

feeding this vampyre