31.08.16-heat of the night
in the
heat of night
beyond
right
wrong
meet
in
the street
neon lights
roll dice
roll in bed
I have
someone
to
hold
in the
heat of the night
31 August 2016
30 August 2016
29 August 2016
29.08.16-lost Angel
lost Angel
she
awakened
the demon
with her cry
chaos in her eyes
in
turmoil
her
beauty obvious
even when obscured by her pain
she was dark
he was darker
she had demons
he was a demon
she pushed him
away
1,000 times
he returned
10,000 times
those who would
harm Angels
he annihilated
he always knew
she would
be his
ruin
beauty
always
costly
Angels
Beyond price
28 August 2016
27 August 2016
26 August 2016
24 August 2016
23 August 2016
22 August 2016
13 August 2016
07 August 2016
05 August 2016
04 August 2016
GGarden Party
“I am ready, and so glad no one. I know will be there.” I saying adjusting my regimental tie.
“That’s not true, one of those models you fuck, might be there” Cass say’s inspecting me, but even as she cast a cynical eye on me appetites she accepts me, without reserve. She is in Town and country meet’s sexy attire a little nod to me.
“I’ll do this for you, but know even, cedar tavern would be more entertaining
I say.
“You’ll live there’s an open bar my associates’’ daughter’s, it’s outside so you can smoke. We go to cedar tavern because your heroes like Pollock drank there
Cass is a Wall Street trader, something with currencies. Columbia MBA. She makes more a month than me and my friends make all year. She is a bit under 8 stone, 172 cm, blonde with a tan, and a soulful gaze. She’s hard to miss. Coming into the club Chanel little black dress pumps, and clutch. I assumed her car broke down or she’s here to stage an intervention. She walks to my bar asks questions about the music, Thursday’s local hero’s night. I know most of the bands and played with a couple.
She comes in on Saturday this time in designer rock wear. This time, I’m super busy and working the door. She shows up I let her in go, I scream on the list to Sheena She doesn't stay long, but reappears with 2 cups of Anthora coffee in those blue and white Greek looking design, that say, “We are happy to serve you.” Thank god, all I can ever afford is Chock full of Nut’s, I taste I realise it has a measure of whisky. I’m madly passionately in like, it’s cold out here. She invites to Tom’s café for breakfast.
I pull up late de riguer. I see her inside I kick Bonnie my Triumph Bonneville up the centre stand in front chain her taking a couple of drags off the cigarette; She stands up when
She see’s me. We hug the chemistry is palpable. I kiss her, a great kiss it lingers, and she presses against me
I ask her you want to go some placed not chuffed with bridge and tunnel. Someplace more private.” Cass nods and we walk out she sees Bonnie my Triumph Bonneville.
She screams directions I realise we’re going to a posh neighbourhood. It’s her building. In the lift’s she asks, You think I m a slut?”
No, this our 3rd date, besides playing games is no fun. I like a woman who knows what she wants” We walk in her Apartment. She closes the door. No small talk, no pretence just raw emotion. We fall into undressing each other nothing zipless here. It's loud clothes being torn, with hunger, and urgency. Desperate exploration, but somehow also loving in the way I haven't felt for a long while, and this a little scary. We only break for food and wine, lots of wine, and a little Peruvian flake.
She is tan and svelte like all the models I know
I wake up in her bed my survival alarm wakes me up in strange places. Ideally, a giant helicopter hovers over the city and over the speaker, announces 10 minutes before dawn, “OK children back to your own beds” I don’t want to get out of this big soft bed, but I do very quietly. I find the bathroom. I ‘m starker’s so I gather clothes. I come out thinking I’m in total stealth. I hear Cass saying you can stay. I stay I travel, so there're some disposable toothbrushes under the sink. hot water takes a few minutes.” It seems the most natural thing in the world. I don’t leave somehow my things transition to her place, over a fortnight.
I had just moved into her co-op, which prompted an owners ‘ meeting. I would have loved to have seen them when they realised they had awoken the tiger. All the New England lockjaw types seeing the patrician Cass’s passion of which, there’s tonnes of exploding.
Cass is dead smart I had just moved. I am giving her a hard time about being older than, me Cass thinks she’s 10 years older than, me but I have a fake ID she’s 12 years older. I am having breakfast. I ask her, “why me? I am a bartender, chucker, and guitar player, with questionable habits’”
Cass puts down her and says’s “ Most guy sees my pay stub and she extends her index finger then curl’s it. She continues” you’re all the fun in the world, we go out, the corner office is never mentioned I become your girlfriend, not the Ice Queen, in fact, they say nice legs babe I get to be myself with you even when, that’s when I’m silly.”
I lean back and say ‘I got the skills to pay the bills.” We’re cool we don’t discuss our relationship on a regular basis,;we just are. She spoils me Venus records, trash and vaudeville, and just loving me more, and better than I could possibly deserve.
I put on the preppy drag and go to with her to the Jaguar. We’re going to the Oyster Bay one of the managing partner’s of her trading firm homes. Listening to music, loud and angry in a drop top sports car has a certain irony not lost on me. I wish I could spoil her too.
We arrive valet’s greet us were directed towards the back where there are canopy’s, and a pool. I head straight to the bar. I go to get drinks the bartender cards me, then hands me drinks as I turn a man with male pattern baldness and a huge beer gut asks, “are you someone’s kid?”
“Aren’t we all?” I answer moving towards Cass. The man following too close, in my part of the city I would turn and confront. But I am on best behaviours’ for Cass. I reach Cass hand her, her drink, and drop my arm around her waist. The man hasn’t gotten the hint, as he still standing. I address him ”Here you go,mate.” While handing him a fiver. He waves it off. Cass laughs. I look at him and say, ”The way you were following us I just assume I forgot to tip.”
Cass says “This Bob Richard’s I introduce myself, saying “Hello I am Marlowe.”
Marlowe is your nephew Cassandra?” Bob asks ignoring me
“Bob, It’s MS Monroe, and he is my friend. I pull her close he goes back to the bar. I pull Cass for a soft Kiss nothing that will get the wasps upset. I say. “Let me guess, works for you, and resents that you are so beyond his reach on so many levels.”
Cass nods
“I really didn’t fancy that nephew crack,” I tell her. She caresses the back of my neck. She takes me in tow as she makes the circuit. I can’t help, but notice the wives are in their late 20’s Cass’s age, and the men, 20 and 30 years older. This does not stop them from staring at us.
Bob has obviously drinking hard. He staggers past us slur’s “I didn’t know you had kids.”
I start after him. I feel her hand on my shoulder saying. “Not now,” softly.
We find a table with the host’s wife Delores and daughters. I am hoping this signals we will politely leave. Bob comes by and says’s ‘The kid's table.” waving his cigar.
Delores defuses, by saying smoke is over there Bob pointing by the pool. I fish a cigarette out . Cass smiles, and say’s “go.” I have just been given her blessing, for the pain. I will visit upon him. She has cried havoc and loosed me
I easily catch up to Bob I grab his right arm bring up behind his back, and say “ Hello sod, that seems real painful.” he has just burned himself with his cigar before he drops it. I let it go of his arm he spins around. I push him in the pool. He comes up for air I push him back down he comes up again I push him down again the third time, I pull him out he is heavy and exhausted. I drop him several times breaking his nose I go through the motions of CPR. I am actually telling him,” If this happens again it will be fatal, and one word and it’s fatal.” The look on his face is blank fear. He is not thinking, just hoping to live through this he is panting his face pale, eyes wide with terror. He will never tell anyone
By now the rest of the party has taken notice Delores is running with towels. Delores says “Thank God for you, Marlowe! Bob could have died, he just been drinking way too much, I worried when I saw him by the pool.”
“I am glad I could help. I would hate anything like this should happen in such a lovely place to such nice people.”
“We should not impose on the Hospitality of Delores. I am sure everyone’s exhausted.” Cass said.
Once in the car, Cass says, “I guess I start job hunting “
“No love, he will never talk back to you, or say anything about this to anyone, that was sheer terror and he knows I can, and will waste him besides, getting pissed up a tree at a managing partners party, he won’t last a month” I answer.
Cass laughs, and says “Cool from Ice Queen to God Mother!” I laugh too,
“Garden party was actually fun. “I say.
“OK, we’re going to the bowery let’s finish this right. “ Cass said.
“I got drinks I say , showing her Bobs wet wallet. She laughs. It's going to be a good night we're not garden party people.
“I am ready, and so glad no one. I know will be there.” I saying adjusting my regimental tie.
“That’s not true, one of those models you fuck, might be there” Cass say’s inspecting me, but even as she cast a cynical eye on me appetites she accepts me, without reserve. She is in Town and country meet’s sexy attire a little nod to me.
“I’ll do this for you, but know even, cedar tavern would be more entertaining
I say.
“You’ll live there’s an open bar my associates’’ daughter’s, it’s outside so you can smoke. We go to cedar tavern because your heroes like Pollock drank there
Cass is a Wall Street trader, something with currencies. Columbia MBA. She makes more a month than me and my friends make all year. She is a bit under 8 stone, 172 cm, blonde with a tan, and a soulful gaze. She’s hard to miss. Coming into the club Chanel little black dress pumps, and clutch. I assumed her car broke down or she’s here to stage an intervention. She walks to my bar asks questions about the music, Thursday’s local hero’s night. I know most of the bands and played with a couple.
She comes in on Saturday this time in designer rock wear. This time, I’m super busy and working the door. She shows up I let her in go, I scream on the list to Sheena She doesn't stay long, but reappears with 2 cups of Anthora coffee in those blue and white Greek looking design, that say, “We are happy to serve you.” Thank god, all I can ever afford is Chock full of Nut’s, I taste I realise it has a measure of whisky. I’m madly passionately in like, it’s cold out here. She invites to Tom’s café for breakfast.
I pull up late de riguer. I see her inside I kick Bonnie my Triumph Bonneville up the centre stand in front chain her taking a couple of drags off the cigarette; She stands up when
She see’s me. We hug the chemistry is palpable. I kiss her, a great kiss it lingers, and she presses against me
I ask her you want to go some placed not chuffed with bridge and tunnel. Someplace more private.” Cass nods and we walk out she sees Bonnie my Triumph Bonneville.
She screams directions I realise we’re going to a posh neighbourhood. It’s her building. In the lift’s she asks, You think I m a slut?”
No, this our 3rd date, besides playing games is no fun. I like a woman who knows what she wants” We walk in her Apartment. She closes the door. No small talk, no pretence just raw emotion. We fall into undressing each other nothing zipless here. It's loud clothes being torn, with hunger, and urgency. Desperate exploration, but somehow also loving in the way I haven't felt for a long while, and this a little scary. We only break for food and wine, lots of wine, and a little Peruvian flake.
She is tan and svelte like all the models I know
I wake up in her bed my survival alarm wakes me up in strange places. Ideally, a giant helicopter hovers over the city and over the speaker, announces 10 minutes before dawn, “OK children back to your own beds” I don’t want to get out of this big soft bed, but I do very quietly. I find the bathroom. I ‘m starker’s so I gather clothes. I come out thinking I’m in total stealth. I hear Cass saying you can stay. I stay I travel, so there're some disposable toothbrushes under the sink. hot water takes a few minutes.” It seems the most natural thing in the world. I don’t leave somehow my things transition to her place, over a fortnight.
I had just moved into her co-op, which prompted an owners ‘ meeting. I would have loved to have seen them when they realised they had awoken the tiger. All the New England lockjaw types seeing the patrician Cass’s passion of which, there’s tonnes of exploding.
Cass is dead smart I had just moved. I am giving her a hard time about being older than, me Cass thinks she’s 10 years older than, me but I have a fake ID she’s 12 years older. I am having breakfast. I ask her, “why me? I am a bartender, chucker, and guitar player, with questionable habits’”
Cass puts down her and says’s “ Most guy sees my pay stub and she extends her index finger then curl’s it. She continues” you’re all the fun in the world, we go out, the corner office is never mentioned I become your girlfriend, not the Ice Queen, in fact, they say nice legs babe I get to be myself with you even when, that’s when I’m silly.”
I lean back and say ‘I got the skills to pay the bills.” We’re cool we don’t discuss our relationship on a regular basis,;we just are. She spoils me Venus records, trash and vaudeville, and just loving me more, and better than I could possibly deserve.
I put on the preppy drag and go to with her to the Jaguar. We’re going to the Oyster Bay one of the managing partner’s of her trading firm homes. Listening to music, loud and angry in a drop top sports car has a certain irony not lost on me. I wish I could spoil her too.
We arrive valet’s greet us were directed towards the back where there are canopy’s, and a pool. I head straight to the bar. I go to get drinks the bartender cards me, then hands me drinks as I turn a man with male pattern baldness and a huge beer gut asks, “are you someone’s kid?”
“Aren’t we all?” I answer moving towards Cass. The man following too close, in my part of the city I would turn and confront. But I am on best behaviours’ for Cass. I reach Cass hand her, her drink, and drop my arm around her waist. The man hasn’t gotten the hint, as he still standing. I address him ”Here you go,mate.” While handing him a fiver. He waves it off. Cass laughs. I look at him and say, ”The way you were following us I just assume I forgot to tip.”
Cass says “This Bob Richard’s I introduce myself, saying “Hello I am Marlowe.”
Marlowe is your nephew Cassandra?” Bob asks ignoring me
“Bob, It’s MS Monroe, and he is my friend. I pull her close he goes back to the bar. I pull Cass for a soft Kiss nothing that will get the wasps upset. I say. “Let me guess, works for you, and resents that you are so beyond his reach on so many levels.”
Cass nods
“I really didn’t fancy that nephew crack,” I tell her. She caresses the back of my neck. She takes me in tow as she makes the circuit. I can’t help, but notice the wives are in their late 20’s Cass’s age, and the men, 20 and 30 years older. This does not stop them from staring at us.
Bob has obviously drinking hard. He staggers past us slur’s “I didn’t know you had kids.”
I start after him. I feel her hand on my shoulder saying. “Not now,” softly.
We find a table with the host’s wife Delores and daughters. I am hoping this signals we will politely leave. Bob comes by and says’s ‘The kid's table.” waving his cigar.
Delores defuses, by saying smoke is over there Bob pointing by the pool. I fish a cigarette out . Cass smiles, and say’s “go.” I have just been given her blessing, for the pain. I will visit upon him. She has cried havoc and loosed me
I easily catch up to Bob I grab his right arm bring up behind his back, and say “ Hello sod, that seems real painful.” he has just burned himself with his cigar before he drops it. I let it go of his arm he spins around. I push him in the pool. He comes up for air I push him back down he comes up again I push him down again the third time, I pull him out he is heavy and exhausted. I drop him several times breaking his nose I go through the motions of CPR. I am actually telling him,” If this happens again it will be fatal, and one word and it’s fatal.” The look on his face is blank fear. He is not thinking, just hoping to live through this he is panting his face pale, eyes wide with terror. He will never tell anyone
By now the rest of the party has taken notice Delores is running with towels. Delores says “Thank God for you, Marlowe! Bob could have died, he just been drinking way too much, I worried when I saw him by the pool.”
“I am glad I could help. I would hate anything like this should happen in such a lovely place to such nice people.”
“We should not impose on the Hospitality of Delores. I am sure everyone’s exhausted.” Cass said.
Once in the car, Cass says, “I guess I start job hunting “
“No love, he will never talk back to you, or say anything about this to anyone, that was sheer terror and he knows I can, and will waste him besides, getting pissed up a tree at a managing partners party, he won’t last a month” I answer.
Cass laughs, and says “Cool from Ice Queen to God Mother!” I laugh too,
“Garden party was actually fun. “I say.
“OK, we’re going to the bowery let’s finish this right. “ Cass said.
“I got drinks I say , showing her Bobs wet wallet. She laughs. It's going to be a good night we're not garden party people.
03 August 2016
01 August 2016
Coffee
We both feel it there’s just no need to talk about it Paula waves me over, and mimes coffee. I am in my music I follow. I watch her walk towards her Mac mansion. I don’t say much I listen.
“Linda is being such a bitch, and no it’s not that she’s already been through menopause, and I am not due for a week.” Paula said.
“Note to self, avoid Paula, in about 3 days.” I say laughing.
She punches me in the arm. Paula said, “that's’ mean,” laughing at me.
I follow her inside. Walk with her to the table. It feels like this has happened more than once. She snatches my iPod giggling like a child, and connects to stereo Maria Callas, singing Gypsy song from Carmen. She looks disappointed. I have 12,000 songs and change, and I love music, because music and art make everything better.
“I’m actually impressed; you have more depth, than I thought when I first saw you chatting, with our enhanced neighbour. “ Paula answers.
“Did you know she is a lawyer, and I went to law school with, her?”
“She doesn’t look like one, and you really don’t look a lawyer; you’re too nice” Paula answers. Flipping her hair. I am hearing a voice saying walk away, be carried away, either way work’s for me. ” The voice is mine an earlier incarnation. I am not that nice.
“I dropped out, it seems law school and I had irreconcilable differences you wouldn’t be judging. Women are so harsh, and competitive, with each other.” I said
“I know, and I’m in a bad place right now, do you think I am pretty?” Paula asks.
“Is this a trick question, because you know I do a lovely a classic face and the body of a runway model. Add those bedroom eyes; is this a trick question“? I answer.
“If I had double D’s?” She asks’
You know with your slim build, I’m sussing a full B cup, is perfect, and you look busty, with your lithe lean long body. besides neighbours would gossip about you. What’s going on?” I ask
“Linda has been ignoring me, and I saw her checking out your friend.”
“Look we’ve all been there. There’s a saying for every hot girl there’s someone tired of fucking her, and Carey is easy to look at. You have been together for awhile she’s always at work probably just stress.“ I answer. I notice, NIN “Something I can never have.” Is playing, and the irony is not lost on me she my mate, but I have thought what would she be like. I drink some coffee, this is heavy, but she needs a friend.
“Do you smoke?” I ask.
“I don’t, but, Linda has a pack of American spirit in the fridge. She answers.
“I was talking weed, because I have a spliff of some killer purple Kush.” I said.
She nods yes smiling
I pull the spliff from my pocket hand it to her she bends over for me to light it. She inhales deeply and hands it to me, and I hand it back. The ritual goes on until we have smoked it all. She refills my coffee adding a measure of rum.
“I want to see your pictures, let me see your iPhone.” Paula says playfully.
I unlock it with my thumb and hand it to her.
“Put it on the old photos.” She asks. I comply, and wait for questions.
“You had a chopper, damn you were ripped. “ Paula says. I wait for questions about women, because they’re coming.
Paula shows me a photo of Aime, and me. I’m happy me shades are on because I’m damn good, but she’s me kryptonite.
“You still have bandages here, yet I see tickets in your pocket.”
“I still had a cane too. Aime never saw that, she told people when I got caught in that 3 way burn Lucifer popped up to repo my soul, and I shot him 3 times in the face. I miss her.”
“Bad break-up?” Paula asks
She left me, she OD. I answer.
“ I didn’t mean to” She starts precariously.
“It’s cool, I am OK.” I answer
“I think we should move to sofa.” Paula said, as we begin to go to the next room “Champagne Supernova comes on the IPod. Apparently the IPod is now some sort of ironic sound track today.
“I like this one Paula says .A picture of me goofing with an old girlfriend.
“She’s’ a lot of fun.” I answer. She looks at me quizzically.
“We still talk, “ I offer.
“You’re in your teens there?” Paula asks
“Yes, she still very much a sweet person, with a big heart. “ I said. She leans into me and we kiss it’s a good kiss. Then we just hold each other.
“What now?” Paula said.
“Just friends no pressure no expectations I care about you, and I think you like me. I think you’re insecure right now. I made you feel attractive, and it was an affectionate gesture, not anything else I understand. “ I said
“I am in a committed relationship, and a Lesbian woman. “ Paula said
“I understand, and I am not trying to change any of that, besides the pieces of our pain match” I said. She’s still holding me. She lays her head on my shoulder. I feel the energy we’re Ok. The man who was fought, and the women who is an object of desires. I just sit with her until I realise things have to get done.
“Coffee, soon” she says hugging me
“Coffee would be brilliant” I saying leaving.
We both feel it there’s just no need to talk about it Paula waves me over, and mimes coffee. I am in my music I follow. I watch her walk towards her Mac mansion. I don’t say much I listen.
“Linda is being such a bitch, and no it’s not that she’s already been through menopause, and I am not due for a week.” Paula said.
“Note to self, avoid Paula, in about 3 days.” I say laughing.
She punches me in the arm. Paula said, “that's’ mean,” laughing at me.
I follow her inside. Walk with her to the table. It feels like this has happened more than once. She snatches my iPod giggling like a child, and connects to stereo Maria Callas, singing Gypsy song from Carmen. She looks disappointed. I have 12,000 songs and change, and I love music, because music and art make everything better.
“I’m actually impressed; you have more depth, than I thought when I first saw you chatting, with our enhanced neighbour. “ Paula answers.
“Did you know she is a lawyer, and I went to law school with, her?”
“She doesn’t look like one, and you really don’t look a lawyer; you’re too nice” Paula answers. Flipping her hair. I am hearing a voice saying walk away, be carried away, either way work’s for me. ” The voice is mine an earlier incarnation. I am not that nice.
“I dropped out, it seems law school and I had irreconcilable differences you wouldn’t be judging. Women are so harsh, and competitive, with each other.” I said
“I know, and I’m in a bad place right now, do you think I am pretty?” Paula asks.
“Is this a trick question, because you know I do a lovely a classic face and the body of a runway model. Add those bedroom eyes; is this a trick question“? I answer.
“If I had double D’s?” She asks’
You know with your slim build, I’m sussing a full B cup, is perfect, and you look busty, with your lithe lean long body. besides neighbours would gossip about you. What’s going on?” I ask
“Linda has been ignoring me, and I saw her checking out your friend.”
“Look we’ve all been there. There’s a saying for every hot girl there’s someone tired of fucking her, and Carey is easy to look at. You have been together for awhile she’s always at work probably just stress.“ I answer. I notice, NIN “Something I can never have.” Is playing, and the irony is not lost on me she my mate, but I have thought what would she be like. I drink some coffee, this is heavy, but she needs a friend.
“Do you smoke?” I ask.
“I don’t, but, Linda has a pack of American spirit in the fridge. She answers.
“I was talking weed, because I have a spliff of some killer purple Kush.” I said.
She nods yes smiling
I pull the spliff from my pocket hand it to her she bends over for me to light it. She inhales deeply and hands it to me, and I hand it back. The ritual goes on until we have smoked it all. She refills my coffee adding a measure of rum.
“I want to see your pictures, let me see your iPhone.” Paula says playfully.
I unlock it with my thumb and hand it to her.
“Put it on the old photos.” She asks. I comply, and wait for questions.
“You had a chopper, damn you were ripped. “ Paula says. I wait for questions about women, because they’re coming.
Paula shows me a photo of Aime, and me. I’m happy me shades are on because I’m damn good, but she’s me kryptonite.
“You still have bandages here, yet I see tickets in your pocket.”
“I still had a cane too. Aime never saw that, she told people when I got caught in that 3 way burn Lucifer popped up to repo my soul, and I shot him 3 times in the face. I miss her.”
“Bad break-up?” Paula asks
She left me, she OD. I answer.
“ I didn’t mean to” She starts precariously.
“It’s cool, I am OK.” I answer
“I think we should move to sofa.” Paula said, as we begin to go to the next room “Champagne Supernova comes on the IPod. Apparently the IPod is now some sort of ironic sound track today.
“I like this one Paula says .A picture of me goofing with an old girlfriend.
“She’s’ a lot of fun.” I answer. She looks at me quizzically.
“We still talk, “ I offer.
“You’re in your teens there?” Paula asks
“Yes, she still very much a sweet person, with a big heart. “ I said. She leans into me and we kiss it’s a good kiss. Then we just hold each other.
“What now?” Paula said.
“Just friends no pressure no expectations I care about you, and I think you like me. I think you’re insecure right now. I made you feel attractive, and it was an affectionate gesture, not anything else I understand. “ I said
“I am in a committed relationship, and a Lesbian woman. “ Paula said
“I understand, and I am not trying to change any of that, besides the pieces of our pain match” I said. She’s still holding me. She lays her head on my shoulder. I feel the energy we’re Ok. The man who was fought, and the women who is an object of desires. I just sit with her until I realise things have to get done.
“Coffee, soon” she says hugging me
“Coffee would be brilliant” I saying leaving.
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