Ongoing sporadic journal of the overeducated, and underemployed. The title derived from Coupland’s description of cubicle land; the corporate ghetto. Random photos and thoughts. Left the ghetto, never happier. This still a work in progress

20 December 2018

going back –different time a different place
to her husband
I am searching
words
incantation
incantation. : a use of spells or verbal charms spoken or sung as a part of a ritual of words designed to effect magic 2) prayer
some  dark magic
to see me
not as
she did
going back
not
as
I am
she heard
a heartbeat
in the
going back
Light a Gauloise
blackout shades
Pour a glass of breakfast
she walks
unreasonably bright  outside
going back
 a priest holds the communion and chants do this in memory of me
close the blinds
scoff a dime bag
going back

06 December 2018

6.18-demon
She screams
Letters behind your name
a child holds sign-Jesus saves from hell
Clothes
Languages
Beauty created
Republican Efforts to End DemocracyThis group will not willingly cede its power. nytimes.com

Can't erase
Broken
Damaged
Horror
Demon

19 November 2018

Underground parking-07.11.18

walls fade
betwixt
planes
Planes: a level of existence, thought, or development

my beautiful shade
medicine
takes me
to  you
here
Sign reads
Sign: an object, quality, or event whose presence or occurrence indicates the probable presence or occurrence of something else

08 November 2018

Underground parking-07.11.18

walls wane
betwixt worlds
You left my  never changing shade
Love you  girl –a prayer
medicine
takes me
to you
here
Sign reads
Underground  parking

03 November 2018

infidel-02.11.18(Dia de Los Muertos)
She gets dizzy if she stands up too fast
she don’t believe
in souls
She gets hysterical blindness
she don’t believe
in love
she gets spontaneous  amnesia
she don’t believe
in me
she gets lonely 
she don’t believe 

I am  dissolving
Infidel::  from the Latin infidelis, which means "unfaithful 2) a non-believer 


infidel!

30 October 2018

1,000s -29.10.18
woman of a 1,000 sorrows
some
stolen
some
begged
some
borrowed
wear your BPD
Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness
badge honour
go to MBB
Meredith Baxter: Birney is known for her roles on the ABC drama series Family and the NBC sitcom Family Ties 2) lifetime  drama3) fictional online character  
Please take your sorrows
your 1000 grievances
the 1000 times you were wronged
the 1000 grudges
the1000 times
your  husbands frightened you
the 1000 times they wouldn’t touch you
the 1000 times
you were abused

Synagogue massacre defendant in court.

the 1000 men and women who want you
the  1000 tonnes
I carried for you

take your 1000th exit
I have seen 
this movie
a  1000 times

28 October 2018

too far  -26.10.18
take me hand
I’ll take you
too far
destination further
can’t even see it from your dreams
you’ll recognize it
destination closer
not safe
you’ll feel at home
I live betwixt
worlds
I recognize
YOU
swim like a mermaid
dance like a cowgirl  on the sand
YOU were
born for 
too far

23 October 2018

surfing -.09.10.18
PSB bar
Skånegatan 80
116 37 Stockholm
Start your free 30-day trial today! No obligation money back guarantee!
Downstairs
waiting
surfer girl
cold damp outside
black leather
Gin
raw death metal
keep me warm
The afflicted cry out to be healed
surfer girl
Portuguese prophesy -fulfilled
Portuguese: relating to Portugal or its people or language 2) speech impediment Spanish
I surf Stockholm
past
snow
past 
bikes
As your doctor if addiction is right for you!
past
sleeping
cherry blossoms
Surf: A newfound religion to many people. It takes over their lives so all they care about is how close they are to a beach, they check the surf reports 2) getting lost in your own mind and taist it at the same time whilst gliding on the surface of all things


surfing

17 October 2018

now 16.10.18
strange Angel falls like rain
over me
Prophecy: the function or vocation of a prophet specifically: the inspired declaration of divine will and purpose

she speaks prophecies
of  love
they surround her
heretics
empty eyes
souls full  dust
hearts full of ash
future a myth
apocalypse a heart beat away
Apocalypse: an event involving destruction or damage on an catastrophic scale 2) the end of the world in the big book of Jewish fairy tales

all we have is
now
strange angels kiss
tastes
of
longing for something not known
tastes of
tastes
of
Deceit
tastes
of
disintegration
that

Fragrant tropical flower
betwixt her thighs
tastes
of
desire
now
she is redemption
now
she is screaming sexy ruin
now
the only thing

16 October 2018

15.10.18-doughnut boy is dead
cries of an angel
wake the demon
how long have I
slept?
betwixt worlds
betwixt living/dead
no coins for Charon
Charon: is the ferryman of Hades who carries souls across the rivers Styx and Acheron that separates the world of the living from the world of the dead.
hungry
angry
bruised Angel
torn wings
abomination!
cold rain
 ice water gin, coke and skag
flows in my veins
come to a boil
coming up fast
coming up hard
switchblade
demon surgeon
sculpts
Hieronymus Bosch doughnut boy
Hieronymus Bosch: painted detail-drenched and symbolic narrative renditions of the dance between heaven and hell
doughnut boy
will never be found

07 October 2018

Memory-.06.10.18
taxi 
cigarette coffee black
blackout shades
       stumble
cocoon  Bavarian
steel leather
last night
half moon scar 
inner thigh
I will
forget 
your name
not
 the night





05 October 2018

  souvenirs—2.10.18 - 04:38-later
it was always going to  ends like this
I‘ll do it every time
Lunatic androids follow
yellowing  love letters   like a fresh black eye
starved for  pink spider venom
throbbing sexual honey
pink spiders –those legs wrapping around  me waist, that beauty like a speedball
jonesing for a  fix
Berserk  lightening
night air
these scars
tombstones
just
souvenirs
 from the downs
 the chase
the score
souvenirs



02 October 2018

  souvenirs—2.10.18 - 04:38
it was always going to  ends like this
I‘ll do it every time
Lunatic androids follow 
Androids: robots with a human appearance

yellowing  love letters   like a fresh black eye
starved for  pink spider venom
jonesing for a  fix
Jonesing; be addicted to 2) obsessed with
Fix: o repair something that is broken) 2 a dose of your addiction/ obsession
Berserk  lightening
night air
these scars
tombstone
just
souvenirs
 from the downs
 the chase
the score
Score: the number of points, goals, runs, etc., achieved in a game) 2 obtain a desired thin

Souvenirs: a sentimental or keepsake of place, event, or person
souvenirs



26 September 2018

Dark-26.09.18
scripture
myth
pointless  claims
for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours now and forever
“Priest sings For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, now and forever, " at the end of the Our Father. during aCcatholic mass
mine  is the infamy  the broken the destroyed now and forever
the  light 
millions of candles
for 
hope  and Godot
Waiting for Godot is a play by Samuel Beckett, 2 characters’ wait for Godot who never comes the play suggests that life has no meaning and is full of suffering. pain
you like it dark
I shot out
the flames
pulled you 
underground
Demons and Angels
Ritual and sacrifice
Dark: obscure, gloomy; sad, cheerless; sinister, wicked
you like it dark
I gave you
my heart


25 September 2018

Beautiful deadly-23.09.18
hurricanes seen from space
 coral snake
pink spiders
Beautiful
Deadly
Coral snakes are small, vibrantly coloured, highly venomous snakes
Pink Spider
pulls
me inside
like
Holy prepuce
Holy prepuce: Jesus’ foreskin all the rage in 1500’s as Holy Relics with miraculous  powers
pink spider
vows
undying love
with every beat of her throbbing model gash
Gash: Londonese for vagina
pink spider
venom 
washing over me
until
I am numb
until
I am gone
Gone: no longer present; departed2)To be gone is to be completely high and/or intoxicated to a point of no return3).gone as "really cool
just my type 
beautiful
deadly

21 September 2018

good for your art -18.09.18
not good for your
health
I come with a Surgeon General Warning
Surgeon-General: (SG) is the senior medical officer of the British Armed Forces 2) health warnings found on cigarettes, alcohol.
not  good for
serotonin 
Serotonin is a chemical that has a wide variety of functions in the human body. It is sometimes called the 

not good for your
future
Your favourite mistake
Mistake: an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong/

Her favourite
Mistake
Everyone’s favourite mistake
Good for your
art

Art: the various branches of creative activity, such as painting, music, literature, dance which many times comes from a dark place

12 September 2018

9/11-11.09.18
Moments of silence
memorial services
texts
from Stockholm
Message and data rates may apply
voter fraud in Stockholm
Swedish women’s surfing team
looking for  paella
Paella: rice with chicken, shrimp, and mussels, and chorizo.
Portuguese prophesy

Prophesy: to say that will happen in the future
I

dancing like a sacred monkey

Sacred Monkey: many animals considered sacred in Hinduism. Monkeys are in numerous temples throughout Asia.
Lucid dreaming
why
tripping  dreaming
 through
worlds
planes
fantastic worlds
primates
Swedish surfers

9/11

09 September 2018

tonight -15.09.17-later
Nazis in charge
Major Tom
Major Tom  an astronaut in David Bowie’s  Space Oddity  who escapes earth
lost in space
lunatic cyborgs
Cyborg: person whose physical abilities are extended beyond normal human limitations by mechanical elements built into the body. 2) the direction of evolution
 2)
attack
white  horse
flees polar cap
we’re immune
a  kingdom of two
under
twilight
under an amethyst  sky
on
on a blue-green bed
cool autumn  night
falling
looking
into
your  eyes
knowing
how it will
end
we come together
we make love
so close
self fades
nothing
can  keep
us
together
we don’t
have forever
we have tonight
tonight
Tonight: the present or approaching evening or night. 2) a separate reality

is the only place I want to be

05 September 2018

Holy Roller-04.09.18
rebel angel
Rolling in sheets
Speaking in tongues:  is a phenomenon in which people appear to speak in languages unknown to them. 2) popular with fundamentalist, and evangelical Christians

Speaking in tongues
rebel angel
rolling in sheer abandon
Abandon: complete lack of inhibition or restraint

Might regret
rebel angel
Won’t forget
rebel angel
Rolling with me
Rolling: eextending in gentle undulations 2) somewhat like less physical orgasms, just extreme bliss and true euphoria.

Holy
Holy
Rebel angel
just rolling

02 September 2018

Butterflies effect-.01.09.18
landing
on me
Separate
suicide blondes
loved them then
love them now
time a fiction
LOVE
eternal 
butterflies
waking me 
from
Linear time trance
Linear Time: is seen sequentially, as a series of events beginning, and an end 
from

compliancy on limits of reality
Reality: the world or the state of things as they actually exist. 2) a façade to 
comfort
taking me

nebulae where stars are born

Nebulae: a cloud of gas and dust in outer space, visible in the night sky as an indistinct bright patch 2) the place stars are created 
taking me


to where we were created

taking me
where we end

Butterflies effect


30 August 2018

Aware-29.08
she kept saying
she  felt like figment  of others peoples  imagination
Figment :a thing that someone believes to be real but that exists in their mind
she’s up all night
I haven’t seen the
light of day
since I went
underground
beings of the night
she
a prisoner
her beauty
never seeing the sun
I reign
in hell
Hell:  is a place or state of eternal punishment inhabited by those rejected by God2) Fiction  by Milton, and Dante

I believe in hell therefore I am - Arthur Rimbaud
I bring
her down
her eyes are already used to the shadows
I’ll teach her bliss


Psychedelic swan flies past my right wing mirror
enlightment
Enlightment:the action of enlightening or the state of being enlightened 2) the state of aware

thundering in our veins
rushing to the Centre 
soul
higher
it’s
 low
low
betwixt worlds
she is aware now 
Aware:having knowledge or perception of a situation or fact  2)  living at  higher intensity of being

not a figment

aware

25 August 2018

temporary lapse in judgment-21.08.18

Lapse: a temporary failure of concentration, memory, or judgment
Judgement: he ability to make considered decisions or come to reasonable conclusions. often lost after a few drinks


more
than
demon
heat
pain /pleasure
passion
more
than 
vampyre
lust
poisons/bullets
immune
SHAMAN
alchemy
ritual
visions
more 
than
white powder and water
spoon  chalice 
candles heats
Eucharist transubstantiates

Chalice: the wine cup used in the Catholic Eucharist.
Eucharist:   the bread and wine when transubstantiated becomes blood and body of Jesus Christ during mass.
more 
than 

temporary lapse in judgement

22 August 2018

Heretic-22.08.18

Baby got
new religion
called
smug
alright
hurling stones
flinging words
at
pagans
denying
alchemy
denying
lusty sacrifices
denying
me
blue bunny on a cracker
underground 
pagans
blasphemers
lovers
heretics
me

20 August 2018


Salvation imminent-18.08.18
Judgment day
may never come

circus
angry clowns
A
Elon Musk is broken and we have broken him wired.com
old war
A
Cold War
A
Losing war
can’t lose
if you
Don’t
care
if
you
Don’t
feel pain
if
you
Don’t
come down
Can’t jump a boxcar anymore
hobos and carny’s
circus
low
tired
Coulrophobia
Coulrophobia: is a neologism used to describe a fear of clowns and impotent ringmasters
orange ringmaster
calls
toothless lion, insane midgets
Blue Bunny MIA
underground
recognize her stigmata
Salvation imminent-18.08.18
Judgment day
may never come

circus
A
old war
A
Cold War
A
Losing war
can’t lose
if you
Don’t
care
if
you
Don’t
feel pain
if
you
Don’t
come down
Can’t jump a boxcar anymore
hobos and carny’s
circus
low
tired
Coulrophobia
Coulrophobia is a neologism used to describe a fear of clownsorange ringmaster
calls
toothless lion, insane midgets
Blue bunny shoot steroids MIA
underground
recognize
her
recognize
stigmata
await communion
Salvation imminent

13 August 2018

Tourist-07.08.18 
just tripping
pink spider
dreams in Cyrillic alphabet
Cyrillic alphabet: the alphabet used for Russian and Slavic languages
pink spider 
venom fills my conscious- 
 sublimare
sublimare, meaning “raised to a higher status. 
 the promise
that
she among women
an answer
not a question
pink spider 
venom 
washing over me 
like China White
tourist
my life
Tourist: a person who is traveling or visiting a place for pleasure.2) someone passing 

through, without attachments
tourist







07 August 2018

Venus warming-.07.08.18
Sans Cérès et Bacchus, Vénus a froid
Without Ceres and Bacchus Venus grows
Sin pan y vino v Venus es Frio
without wine and bread Venus grows cold
see 
her dancing on the sand
Venus is  the Roman goddess of beauty and love
come  with me
down
underground
Angel
LOVE HATE on her knuckles
stalks us 
drink my wine 
break bread
take my powders
Angel licks her lips 
anticipation
ménage à trois
ménage à trois: arrangement in which three people have romantic or sexual relations 
Venus
like a 
narcoleptic dancer
amid us 
we feel her heat






06 August 2018

30.11.15-seraph-later
some 
say 
she 
was
a warning
Warning :  event that indicates a possible or impending danger

some
say
sign
Sign: an iconic representation (2 vision to convey message or idea 3) miraculous  works
some
say
prophecy
Prophecy: revelations’ from god, or art.

some 
say
from
heaven
some 
say
Berlin
some 
say
hell
Think
unknowable
by science
by man
I was
There
when
She sang
I couldn’t 
Understand
felt it from inside
The skies
Turned to
 Pollock’s 
Convergence
Convergence"created byJackson  Pollock in 1952 a semnal work which alludes to anger and depression  
Picasso
Les demoiselles d'avignon
Les Demoiselles d’Avignon created in 1907 by Pablo Les Demoiselles d’Avignon marks a radical break from traditional  painting. It depicts five naked women with figures inspired by African masks.
I was told
To
Mobilise
Desolation Angels
To initiate
ritual
 burnt spoons
adoration ofChalices
I was told
demons, vampyres
riders 
of
apocalypse
I was told

that
you’re
salvation
I was told
You’re seraph
1. Seraph: an angelic being, s belonging to the highest order of the celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity. 



30 July 2018

todos los gatos son grises por la noche-30.07.18
Venus
the shape of something
a feral vibe
stray cat 
seriously dancing 
Feral: especially after escape from captivity or domestication (2 untamed temporary
It’s late
music is high
And so are
we
feral 
cat
no 
permanent feelings 
Temporary 
wild cat
yowling
in heat 

todos los gatos son grises por la noche: A Spanish meet someone, during the day we are all exposed and transparent but at night all cats are grey (2 In the dark all women are the same.
 todos los gatos son grises por la noche

23 July 2018


shadows-21.07.18
she emerged  from the shadows
first ritual of seduction
sacramental wine
sacred powders
drumbeat of  passion
she falls across my bed
like a shadow
in my dark kingdom
Così fan tutte
Coai fan tutte :Così fan tutte, ossia La scuola degli amanti (Women are like that, or The school for lovers) is an opera music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and an Italina libretto by Lorenzo Da Ponte.
the sacraments of pleasure
rites of pleasure
Summoning ancients Gods of night
Nox: Greek goddess of the night. A shadow figure

conjuring ancient Gods of lust
Pan was the god of lust, or of sex in it’s grunting, groaning
Eros:  was the Greek god of sexual attraction
Pan: he god of lust, or of sex in its grunting, groaning
Aphrodite: Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure,
flying fish fill he air
awaking
light
devouring shadows
turn away
like the shadows
when
I turn back
all the shadows
 Gods
vaporized
in
morning light

21 July 2018

Flash’s 20.07.18
Flash’s  of light in night
Light: understanding of a problem or mystery; enlightenment 2) something that makes things visible or affords illumination

the other side
The other side: afterlife, as a supernatural realm inhabited by spirits of deceased
it’s
 so clear
so near
Gunman in parking space shooting not charged because of 'Stand Your Ground' law

ANGEL
spike shoes
never had
 any blues
laying in bed
reciting
Lord Byron
Lord Byron 2 January 1788 – 19 April 1824)  English nobleman, poet, peer, politician

Adoration:  a sign of devotion to and worship

adoration
enlightment
flash’s




20 July 2018

know 20-.07.18
know:have developed a relationship with (them; be familiar )
cafe au lait
breast
white lines
sniffing
a feast

Bible translations, such as the King James Bible, translate the Hebrew word יָדַע‎ (yādaʿ) as know even in sexual sense
know
her
cowgirl
know
her
mermaid
beatific
Beatific:The immediate knowledge of God which the angelic spirits and the souls of the just enjoy in Heaven
drinking deeply of champagne
each other
know
her
past life
Marc Anthony and Cleopatra
Antony and Cleopatra is a tragedy by William Shakespeare.
know
her
protocols
of lust
know
her
looks
like
an angel
tastes
like
savage sin
I
know her

19 July 2018

Chinese rocks- for Luna & Ian-19.07.18
Chinese Rock Heroin, or especially heroin from China
also called "China  white" 2) a song by Johnny Thunders
Chinese rock
sacred ritual
melding
into
blood
flowing
centre
of
brain
centre
of
soul
giving me
Awareness
freeing  
from
space/time
TV Sie glotzte tele
the other side
The Other Side: The afterlife, a supernatural realm inhabited by spirits of deceased people.
so close
sinking
deep underground
choirs of angels sing
Holy: dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred

Holy Holy
Holy Holy
Drinking the blood of mother earth
all things
sacred
all things
profane
this side the other side
 meld
underground
buried under
Chinese rock
Skyping: a video call via internet  appmor Chinese rock
skyping the other side


17 July 2018

Saint-17.07.18
Legend of Saint
Saint: who lived holy lives performs miracles
Inspired by true events
Triggers every where
Triggers: elect to, set in motion, occasion, and bring about 2) mechanism that releases especially a gun
flashing lights
blonde on blonde
Game over
texting
Algiers
calling
desolation angels
seeking enlightenment
Enlightment the a state of being enlightened
one in the chamber
safeties off
don’t want to KILL YOU
BUT if that’s how GOD planned
YOU
deliverance
Deliverance: he action the action of being rescued or set free
saved from sin, terror, or evil
SAINT

12 July 2018

beyond-12.07.18
take me
hand
São Jorge Castle  meet
control officer gone rogue
Control Officer:Control: manage agents and  intelligence networks.
I’ll take you
beyond tomorrow and last week
I’ll take you
beyond
good and evil
I’ll take you
beyond
fear
I’ll take you
beyond
the water
I’ll take you
beyond
time and clocks exploded
black water washing
grey shores
Britain's May pledges to deliver on 'Brexit' as critics and Trump wonder what's Nextnext latimes.com
I’ll take you
beyond
being alive to living
I’ll take you
beyond

09 July 2018

Queen of Hell-09.07.18
her kiss
a curse
her touch
redemption
her  soul
dancing in flames
Queen of Hell
Thai cave rescuers face race against time as oxygen levels drop cnn.com
calling
me
towards
hell
Hell: is a place or state of eternal punishment inhabited by those rejected by God 2) suburban Amerikkka  3) angry cowgirls
nil is real
all
allowed

30 June 2018

on edge-28.06.18
otherworldly   beauty
felt
like 
sin
tasted
like
love

Anthony Kennedy: US Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy is to retire, giving President Donald Trump the chance to cement a conservative majority on the top court bbc.com


on the edge

her face
obscuring
light
her face
becoming 
light
on the edge
by denying 
entry 
to
hell

on the edge

queen of hell
refuses 
heaven
on the edge
I dwell
with
exiled monsters
east of Eden
on the edge

underground
nodding: a semi dreamlike state where a person on skag slips in and out of time and space
land of nods
her face
leaving me 
on the edge
betwixt 
heaven and hell
on the edge

betwixt
living and dead
on the edge

betwixt 
worlds
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.-Hunter S Thompson
on edge


26 June 2018

storming-25.06.18
storming
in
Stockholm
Storming:  an events taking  a peaceful individual into a state of chaos

crackling online calls
Black ops
Black ops: covert military or political operations that may employ measures not generally 

authorized
cry havoc!

storming
in
Stockholm
 needing
flesh
storming
in
Stockholm
desolation Angels
can’t get me away
storming
in
Stockholm
storms
born
Mom, why did they put the kids in cages? One day adults will have to explain the shamechicagotribune.com
of
HUNGER
RAGE
ISOLATION 
Fixing with 
Fix:  satisfying an addiction.
me
shades
good wife went ghost
shades remained
storming
in
Stockholm
recriminations
forced smiles
a cold wet night
looking 
for words
finding
a .45
I am not even here
storming
in
Stockholm

18 June 2018

Coffee
“Vegan iced coffee,” I say
Coconut milk with an extra espresso shot, this is Tyler your girl Tyler says.
I just smile flattered 20 something attractive, sun-streaked hair perfect café au lait tan, pale blue ey3es and a sarcastic sense of humour that melts my heart.  She probably also has enough Daddy issues to find me attractive. Take the coffee Tyler adds, “Sit in the patio I have a break coming.”
     On the way out I stop to get a pound of coffee. A woman asks the “Coffee is good here?”
    “Actually yes, roasted in town.” I pick a flavour to take it to my table. The woman from coffee asks, “Can I join you and do you know the wifi password.”
    I take her all in long blonde hair nice tan, grey eyes. “Of course, decaf is evil all lower case no spaces. I am Marlowe, you are”
    “I am sorry, I am Kathy”, thank you she says taking a chair to my left,  over her shoulder I see Tyler waving me over. I like this conversation actually the Beats, the resistance, and the new Gorillaz album I excuse myself Kathy ‘ll be back, I need a refill can I get you anything?”
     ‘No, I am all set. “ Kathy answers.
    I am barely through the door
Tyler demands, “What’s, with the old woman?”
“I am just talking,” I answer.
“I remember our first chat, do you?” Tyler asks adding,  “I’ll clear up for you it ended in a shower,”
    “Why are you so angry, love?” I ask.
That old woman is my mother.”
 “I am sorry” I start.
“Think about what comes out of your mouth next, because I can tell you what won’t be going in it if you don’t get it right. Tyler says.
    I am going to shop for vinyl across the street, and you know I wouldn’t hurt you.
Tyler says, “Good answer, and I know a lot of things like that’s not Tabaco you’re vaping tobacco do you want me to go on?”
    “I get it ping me later if you feel it, oh and if you could tell the guy in the vest with the curled handlebar moustache an vest, who looks like the Capitan of a cotton candy dirigible looks at me one more time I will pluck out his fisheye.
“Bob’s crushing on me, he’s harmless.” Tyler answers
I am going to pay for the coffee and bounce.
I am being a bitch, I am sorry Tyler says.
You’re OK, “ I say distractedly. I pay for the coffee, go to the table tell Kathy, I have some business I must attend too. I miss when coffee was simple

17 June 2018

ride -17.07.18
purple dragon
looking for
pink spider

digital roar
Digital; data expressed as series of the digits 0 and 1
I could have been anyone

except
the
Crowd
Crowd: the herd, mob rabble
captivated

making love to her
like
China White
venom surging in me veins
and I just
hit some medicine
so I’ll
ride
just
ride

13 June 2018

haunted-13.06.18

our anniversary
today
miss you most of all
Angel
the night
10 bullets
DOA
DOA: Dead on arrival
coma
Coma: a state of deep unconsciousness that lasts for an indefinite period, caused especially by severe injury or illness. Where the person is betwixt worlds of living and dead.
Angel of Death
Angel of Death: Angel of Destruction of the Hebrew Bible. The Hebrew name translates to "Angel of God", "Help from God", or "One Whom God Helps". 

so beautiful
so sexy
thighs  covered
the dried tears
of a crucified Christ
awaking
My Stigmata
growing and angry
Stigmata is a term Catholic faith to describe body marks, sores, corresponding to the crucifixion wounds Also denotes wounds of demon

My Angel 
taste of your
kiss
haunted
Haunted: having or showing signs of mental anguish or torment

08 June 2018

Dead worlds-05.06.18
awakening
struggling
for
poetry
effortless
lethal reflexes
stop
battle
quickly
pitilessly
sand castles
Sand Castle: a model of a  castle built by children or lovers playing on the beach
fall into the sea
stars die 
released from time
I have 
nothing
I have
no one
Time: an interval separating two points of this quantity; a duration
Star: a luminous body in the sky 
every world
I
reach
is
dead

06 June 2018

black hole-06.06.18
this day pulling me
down
down
gravity
Gravity: extreme or alarming importance; seriousness
pulling
me
Guatemala volcano: Almost 200 missing and 75 dead abc.com
sucking
Down
Down
Below  underground 
Black Hole: a place where people or things, especially money, disappear without
a trace   2) gravity into which no light can enter                                                    
Black hole
how did you want to dispose of him? cremation?

04 June 2018

desperate-04.06.18
Pink spider laying
down
feast!
Adriatic  tan skin
meets
faded indigo
open those silver buttons
with teeth
kurva ma tvrdo!
kurva ma tvrdo: Slovak-fuck me hard pink spider 
screams
becoming
moans 
ravenous
hunger
becoming
satiated-Latin enough 2) post orgasmic females
kitten snores 
long hair 
becoming
abstract on me chest
night 
becoming
desperate
love
desperate
coupling
desperate
for a present
desperate: tried in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.

desperate
living


02 June 2018

tell her-02.06.18
If you see St Jill
tell her
Saints are humans who lead exemplary lives, and have performed 
at least 2  miracles after death
I need
a shot
angry  raised pink snakes
scars
that occupy
me
don't fill the 
hole
she left 
If you see St Jill
Saint Jillian patroness of ODs and runaways fatal beauty devotees sometimes develop her stigmata on their arms
tell her
I  had 
vision
sky turned black 
smoke filled the room
it was the ritual
and I held
her
If you see St Jill
tell her
I love her  


31 May 2018

the last of my kind-23.05.18
driven to  extinction
Extinction: the condition or fact of being extinct or extinguished


betwixt worlds
living
dead
too high for this
Loathsome warehouse club
Warehouse club1) is a retail store, usually selling a wide variety of merchandise, in which customers buy large, quantities 2) an inferno full of ugly  insect like creatures with a cart holding 19 years worth of bottled water and toilet paper 

Swedish Reggae plays

a Toltec face 
a screeching noise 
it’s  talking
Toltec: a member of an American Indigenous people that flourished in Mexico before the Aztecs


the purple dragon glides
down aisles’
I disappear
plain sight
hiding around the way
hiding under beds
nom de guerre: an assumed name under which a person engages in combat 

unstuck in time
nomadic  pariah
kingdom of lost souls
never alone
just 
lonely
solitary
last of my kind

25 May 2018

it catches up to you-19.05.18
Kings Cross
Algiers
Hereford
Alphabet city
Spandau
training grounds
genetic memories
Genetic: material that makes up DNA molecules. This material is passed on when organisms reproduce.
Prussian  cuirassiers
Prussian  cuirassiersThe Prussian cavalry of the Napoleonic Wars
Conquistadors
Conquistadora conqueror, especially one of the Spanish conquerors of Mexico and Peru  in the 16th century.
enturion : an officer in the army of ancient Rome who was responsible for 100 soldiers.
Centurion
flow through me
cold
calculating
coming hard
twisted face
Twisted Walk
omen
danger
Mistakes
Celebrate
or
bury
at times both
scars
bullets
and muscle
I have become
It catches up to you

23 May 2018


Holy Commuion-23.05.18
The Catholic Sacrament of Holy Communion.: Christ's body and blood present in the consecrated host on the altar
In the Name
Of the Father
Of the Son
Of the Lovely Ghost
Do this
In memory of HER
we ask you loving
Father
to accept the sacrifice
that it might bring the
lovely ghost into 
being that 
I might be in  she
she in me
one flesh
One blood
for thine

THE KINGDOM
THE GLORY
give me
my queen
my kingdom
of
lost souls
m that this Holy
Communion 
This speedball
Speedball: is a mix of skag and coke can be injected or snorted 
might become
the flesh
and blood 
of the lovely ghost

19 May 2018

Misery and Benediction -18.05.18
Misery
Ex-Playmate took Son On Fatal Jump From NYC Hotel's 25th Floor 18.05.18 cnn.com
cup of strong tea and a forced smile
need something stronger
Texas School shooting: 10 killed by teenage gunman | Al Jazeera English
the all American
ritual
of
sacrificing children
to guns
I go to
art show
More than 100 dead in plane crash in Cuba not.com 18.05.8
double please
let 
art
friends wash away the
Misery: a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body

misery

benediction
from
art
friends
gin
Bendiction:service in which the congregation is blessed with the Blessed Sacrament, held mainly in the Roman Catholic Church.


17 May 2018

ruin-17.05.18
she was
beautiful music
about
terrible things
Picasso’s Guernica
'Guernica' The painting depicts the horrors of war

Siren
Seraphim
walking past
skeletons  of her lovers
in her
web
blasé’
Blasé’: apathetic to pleasure or excitement as a result of excessive indulgence or enjoyment : world-weary
jaded
Jaded: tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.

alarms
melt away
away
knowing
she was
creation
Creation: the action or process of bringing something into existence

destruction
Destruction: the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists

collapsed
in
her embrace
she
always
ends badly
Ruin: the cause of the disintegration of a person's life
she
will
always
be
my ruin

15 May 2018

I-10 West-14.05.18
Such an early version

Exploding out
down shift into curves
427ci – Engine aluminum block-435HP 

Little Algiers
He didn’t
Want to
Pay me
Broken word
Broken bones
He did

White lines on road
White lines in my blood
blood on me boots
she clings to me
I saved her life
I risked her life
I take chances
I take lives
rolling  dice
I-10 West

legs-08.05.18
sailing in a black sedan
through the city
Amazon at the wheel 
Amazon: an admiring term for a statuesque, athletic woman
Loki by her side
Loki, in Norse mythology, a cunning trickster God.
Coke so pure
It must come from the nipples of the  Virgin Mary
Mary was a 1st-century BC Galilean Jewish woman of Nazareth, and the mother of Jesus,
black masses
Black Mass: a travesty of the Roman Catholic Mass in worship of Satan
so we dance
those long legs high heels grace on water
heels
lost in her
finding her
wrapped in loving 
legs
arms
a
 leggy
woman 
will 
take me to me grave

11 May 2018

The souk10.05.18

Algiers

souk. : a marketplace in northern Africa or the Middle East

In search of opium
.45 ammos
against the  wall
a  beauty
her  gaze
haunts me
smoking  the opium
did she
exist at all
the next days
Searching
tourist haunts
putting word out
garçon avez-vous vu la jeune fille touristique je leur ai demandé ?
une récompense un carton de Marlboro rouge
like an opium dream
Opium:a reddish-brown heavy-scented addictive drug prepared from the juice of the opium poppy, used as a narcotic
she 
dissolved

09 May 2018

Brief Bio-09.05.18
Born
cold war
Berlin(American Sector)
Cold War: the state of political hostility that existed between the Soviet bloc countries and the US-led Western powers from 1945 to 1990.
UK
Mexico City DF
US
learning
love
death
how to
execute both
firefight
Firefight: a battle using guns rather than bombs or other weapons
DOA
COMA
awakened
Brave New World
Mary Magdalene  hooking up
with pontius pilate
disciples lost faith
belly of the beast
Militaristic industrial complex: an informal alliance of the military and government.
fuck it
chuck it
artist poet
so far

08 May 2018

Now and Then-07,05.18
then
top predator 
over kill
now
top predator
skills 
then best and the brightest going dark
now
walking study in demonology  vampyric 
always hungry
then
you vomiting bleeding 
now 
dead before the floor
“The past is never dead. It's not even past.”― William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun
then
mercy
now
then crawled away in pain and shame
now 

walk or be carried
now
merciless

George Zimmerman accused of criminal stalking in Florida(07.05,.8)cnn.com

you been perving
on me friends
now and then
demon feeds
now it’s your turn
then
run





03 May 2018

Knowing-03.05.18
closer to knowing
Knowing: showing or suggesting that one has knowledge or awareness that is secret or known to only a few people.
the candle burns the brightest burns the shortest
entering the dark realm
strange love
strange days
Strange: unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand

turn
embrace
strange
embrace
US
Us: used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people as the object of a verb or preposition.

Angel fled
to my
dark realm
dragon flying
sublimation of  beings
US
resurrection
burning
beds
burning
breakfast
Chinese lasers injure US military pilots in Africa

benediction
revelation

Vitalie,
gnostic
US
knowing









30 April 2018

Jill Patron Saint of OD’s and Runaways-29.04.18 
Saint:  saint from whom a person or group claims special protection or prayers.

lighter than heaven
heavier than air
I
carry you
the first shade
innocence lost
Innocence: lack of guile or corruption; purity

first love death
widower at
16
forever one
forever divided
spontaneously
becoming  you
Waiting for the man
realising the ritual
Ritual:  system or collection of religious or other rites. ... a prescribed or established rite, ceremony, proceeding, or service
Until
closer to you
closer to death
Injecting Drugs Can Ruin Hearts. When Are They Not Worth Fixing?2018 29.04 New York Times

29 April 2018

Blood 28.04.18
She raises the chalice
Chanel stained lips
blue bunny is calling me
angel  me picks bones  clean
relics
Relic:a part of a deceased holy person's body or belongings kept as an object of reverence
underground
Vampyre
can’t
see
the 
light
Light:understanding of a problem or mystery; enlightenment.
ravenous
sacrificial garden
she enters
fearless
chalice in hand 
Sacrifacial:designed to be used up or destroyed in fulfilling a purpose or function
she lays across the  satin cloaked  altar
complete submission
ecstasy 
agony
chalice overflows
I drink 
deep
as it was
10,000 years ago as it will be 
tomorrow at 16:30
blood sacrifice
blood redemption
sacred
sweet 
poisonous 
Blood: the red liquid that is sent around the body by the heart and that is necessary for life

blood