Ongoing sporadic journal of the overeducated, and underemployed. The title derived from Coupland’s description of cubicle land; the corporate ghetto. Random photos and thoughts. Left the ghetto, never happier. This still a work in progress

30 August 2017

30.08.17-Ghost
Ghost proclaims love
walking out the door
sway of her hips
our lady
of
million  sorrows
some begged
some  borrowed
some hidden
some
forbidden
for
tomorrows
sorrow
she leaves
few behind
to remember her by
as
she vanishes
as ghosts 
always do



27 August 2017

26.08.17-numb
I am different 
she screams 
it’s  all the same
white horse 
underground 
it don’t 
matter
it’s all the same
NOT
angry
NOT
sad 
JUST
equistely
empty
JUST
exquisitely
numb

25 August 2017

Revenge  Body
    Going out begins by punching a prayer into the ATM. and answered by a few ’20s. I head towards a favoured dive. Nice dark, playing Gorillaz  “Clint Eastwood” as I enter I take a stool in the back.
    My back to the wall all exits inline vision.  I see her enter. The sunlight entering the doorway gives an almost dream-like quality. She looks familiar, but I can’t place her.
    I walk over I’m dressed vaguely like a Ramone and she’s in business chic. I am sussing she’s here because no one she knows or, anyone they know would be caught dead in here.
My memory cannot find her, but I want to know her.  I walk over a man in his 20's obstructing me. “Pardon, mate,” I say
“Bro what’s your hurry Bro?’ a man with a backwards hat and backwards sunglasses.

“Excuse Me,” I counter.
“Bro why so hostile?”
“If you’re done saying Bro, fucking step aside, bro,” I growl.
I grab someone’s empty Shiner Bock bottle just in case.  Looking at him. “How’s your luck bro? You want to roll the dice, cunt.” The bartender comes over in a forced cheery voice here’s some shots boy’s.” Letting the air back in the room. Toss back the tequila and walk over to her,” This is the part where I say something. Witty, but I am not that clever, so how about hello, I am Marlowe, and you are?”
“That is witty,” She says.” I am Elise, and I think we both run in the same park.
“You run I walk a dog. I knew I had seen you before” I flashing on her lithe form running I gesture the bartender for drinks.
“Love, fancy going out to the patio for a chat?” I ask. She nods and follows me I brush past Bro and take her by the hand leading her into the cool spring evening. I notice an intense stare from her pale blue eyes and meet it. There’s a conversation going on.  Elise speaks first, “So what’s going on Marlowe?”
    “Not much I just wanted to meet you, so roll the dice, walk over,” I answer.
“Good answer can I ask another question? Elise asks.
“Shoot” I answer.
“Behind you giving me fuck you stare a stick with tits, platinum hair, heavy eyeliner, early 20’s, and I am guessing, swimming daddy issues ring a bell?” Elsie says sarcastically.
Me friend ghosted s couple of weeks ago, she always ghosts being a “good wife”, whatever the fuck that means. I ended up hanging with Katie Lyn, nothing too serious. She’s sweet and fun”
“I am sorry that was about me. I am coming out of a relationship and the bimbo was the symptom, not the disease. , We don’t know each other that well.” Elise says. “I would guess being a “good wife, would include not doing you,” she says laughing softly Respond by hugging her. She stiffens and then clutches me.
“Sure we know each other, you’re my kind,” I answer
“I don’t need warm and fuzzy, and I need to feel something tired of being numb; just be authentic and we’re friends
“I authentically need another drink, want to join me?”  I answer.

“I think I’d like that,” Elise says following me inside.
I gesture for around to bartender. We both grab a drink and find a nice dark corner, wordlessly seemingly out of instinct.
“Your kind, you mean your type?” some sort of Londonesse phrase?” Elise says trying to figure me out
“Love, I meant I recognise you in some manner I am not sure of an instinctively one see’s another, same subspecies and yes my type,”  I say looking her in the eyes.
She slams me against the wall when she kisses me.  I grab her as she snakes around me. Grinding and moaning like a cat in heat. I pull her hair and she responds with a growl. I put my hand on her breast and her nipple stiffens under my fingers I pinch and she growls.  Her hips are rocking we have the attention of about half the bar.
“You like being watched, don’t you pet?”
“You came up for air “ Bartender says handing me a cold bottle of water. I nod smile and take a drink and take the bottle to an out-breath, Elise.
    “Let's bounce,” I say, “You're overdressed.” Elise takes my hand and we leave.
The cool evening air surrounds us in the car park. “ Your place,” I say
“No problem, “ Elise says sliding into driver's seat shedding her jacket putting her hair down, and unbuttoning two buttons on her blouse. She’s in full seduction mode. I just say “You’re so fucking sexy, knocking me out love.”
“Hotter, than  tits on a stick?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely!  so lush, so fit !” no one else in my mind, nothing else on my mind. I run my eyes over a weapons-grade body.
“So you can find happiness in a woman who is past 23?”
“She’s a girl, you're a woman,” I answer. I give her a kiss, running my hands over her body firm, with soft tanned skin.
“Let’s get out of the car park I don’t want a hot hour in the car want you all night.  ”
I say.
 “That’s going to happen,” She growls locking eyes.”  The chemistry is palatable

I let myself admire her body even in the half-light of the dash lights I can see definition in her legs, and I wonder if she has a thigh gap.
“You like what you see, Marlowe,” Elise asks
“Dogs bollocks,” I answer.
“That’s good?” Elise asks
“The best, “ I answer
“This is all new to me I wasn’t a size 4, a few months ago.” Elise says.” I started running to relieve stress, then I was looking better I kept it up my ex-came to pick up some flash drives I saw the look in his eyes, like yours’ hunger.  “
    The combination of hormones’ and gin syncopated beat of ambient playing make the drive surreal. We pull into a gated cul de sac I follow her to her 3-story townhouse.
“I am keeping the house. He can start over Elise says defiantly.
She opens the door I follow inside, she locks behind us. I push her against the wall kissing her hard pushing her skirt down she wriggles out of it I pull down lacy panties Unfastening her bra her arms pull back to take blouse and bra down dropping to one knee admiring her landing strip give a quick nibble kissing my way up finding her pink nipples tan lines. I am undressing as I do this,  nibbling her soft lips pulling her to the floor. She lands on me and I pull her under she and me wraps around me, legs arms, pulling me into her. Our rhythm matches. Her red nails on my back. Her hips match mine she screams. She moans growls, as she arrives.
    I awake to her saying. “I’ll save you an Uber I am going to the park.”
    “Want to shower?” she asks playfully taking me by the hand leading me upstairs we walk into a bedroom on a king-sized bed. My clothes are laid out.  I realize we both slept on an area rug.  She is a robe and I am starker’s, but then we exchanged bodily fluids she points at the bed, and says? Give me a moment to brush my teeth. “
I wait thinking my teeth are furry too I am thinking.  Elise hands me a travel brush when I am done I turn on the water and slide in I look up and Elise is sliding in the bed I follow. She is growling, Ride it like you stole it. Anything you want. “
    Anything, did you want to put it there? I have lubed myself and I am relaxed.
    I start to enter  her slowly tentatively she pushes back against me growling yowling, “Cum in me!” Grinding her hips I caress her clit as she does, fondling her breasts kissing nibbling the back of her neck. She shudders screaming “OH Fuck Oh god! shuddering sweating she collapses.
We shower I lay back on the bed  I am watching her get into her running clothes.
 He begged for everything you’ve had. I wouldn’t I couldn’t. there was space I could feel it.” she says, adding” I started running to burn off that, stress., then
“I enjoyed you, how was revenge.? I ask.
    “Sweet, do  you feel used?” Elise asks.
I feel fan fucking tastic, don’t get weird, I sussed it out at the bar.” I  answer. I find my clothes and dress.
I’ll make coffee” Elise calls. I find a chair in the kitchen to check my phone.
    Hi” Elise says comes in running clothes big smile. high ponytail. she grinds coffee puts it in the machine, and the aroma fills the room. We’re well beyond small talk phase.
How do you take it? She asks.
“Black and proud,” I answer. She puts on music and brings coffee. We drink it quietly.
 
I guess we need to get going she says. I follow.  We arrive at the park quickly. “I suck at goodbye's, but I won’t forget you” I offer.
    You, don’t have to say that” She says.in tone, that says I do
We’re both in the park most days, we could get kinky and talk sometime. I say getting out of the car.  I walk home to grab my dog to go back to the park, for the morning walk.  a car slows down I notice Elise waving. I wave back.  I keep going forward she’ll catch up
07.08.17-spirit
watch  
the way she 
moves
those
expressions 
 elegant hands 
fluttering
I must’ve been thinking of you 
when I 
conceived
Fearless
sarcastic
spirit 
Whoever you were with had no idea
your spirit
was
deep  in me
all she 
got was 
a shell

24 August 2017

23.08.17-fade
I realised there
are many 
 of me
in your world 
though none 
so dark
none
so vampyric
none 
so demonic
all betrayed
keep your clones
I’d rather sleep alone 
I wont look back
in
anger
I won’t look back
I’ll fade to black
that's what demons do
darkness of underground
envelopes me
feeling like 
a ravenous lover



23 August 2017

23.08.17-ruin
she was 
beautiful music
about
terrible things
Picasso’s Guernica
Siren
Seraphim

walking past
corpses  of her lovers
in her 
web
oblivious
blasĂ©’
jaded
warnings evaporated 
away
knowing
she was
creation
destruction
fell
onto
her embrace
she was
always going
to 
end badly
 she has 
always
been
my ruin

21 August 2017

21.08.17-dragon
It’s happened 
dragon is eating the sun
fear not
I will chase the dragon

19 August 2017

19.08.17-muse
would 
have
created you
a
a painting
poem
that dissolves slowly 
leaving
a beautiful
feeling 
memory
like a night with a  lover
your  siren’s call
intertwined
in
Your 
beauty
warmth
essence 
MUSE




17 August 2017

15.08.17-promised
looking for my Angel
in these  dirty sheets
looking
for my Angel 
on these  dirty streets
Looking
for my Angel 
in 
this dirty underground
I look for my Angel 
in 
looking  for my Angel
in these
dirty jeans
Angel
promised
a clean well lit place


14 August 2017


14.08.17-detonation
detonate 
it

pull 
 the
trigger
push 
the 
plunger
pull
the
lever
alchemy 
 dark magik
rushing through me veins
 to 
centre
of 
me 
soul
brain 
 heart
COLURS 
LIGHTS
SONG
ART 
EXPLODING
EXPLODING
EXPLODING
into
visions
philosophy
prophecy 
dreams
exploding
realities
fantasies
CONSCIOUS
by
explosions
taking
me 
higher
CONNEXTING
to
heaven?
limbo
god 
collective consciousness
this how the  universe was born
explosions

07 August 2017

07.08.17-memory
heart learns
what
soul’s knows
one
never
quite
forgets
lovers  forever
ghost
memory 3 AM
silenced
with
a shot
a new lover
for the moment
but
always
alive  in memory

04 August 2017

04.08.17-vice
Entangled limbs,
gently swaying hips
pink spiders
cherry kissed cyanide
just 
an outline of the
vices you use
she alleges 
pulling me 
into bed
another 
vice

01 August 2017

31.07.17-cherry cyanide
Cherry comes 
long spindly legs and arms 
close around 
me
pink spiders 
get me 
dying  and living reconciled
she follows 
underground
far
from
hollowed ground 
purity a stranger
to begin 
dark
sacraments 
my little 
human sacrifice
beauty carries 
karmic debt
me
penance
kisses me 
I
savour
the intensity
and 
recognise 
flavour
cherry cyanide