Ongoing sporadic journal of the overeducated, and underemployed. The title derived from Coupland’s description of cubicle land; the corporate ghetto. Random photos and thoughts. Left the ghetto, never happier. This still a work in progress

29 June 2016

Some Woman


  “You’re, with those 2 dancer women,” she says. Stroking my arm.  She is stylishly dressed in a short cocktail dress and pumps not out of place in this gallery. I have seen her before at this gallery, and other music, and art events.
 “OK” I answer
“Are you, with the blonde and the colour not found in nature or not?” she asks impatiently.
“You might give me your name first, before you interrogate me,”  I Answer.
“Carmen, and you are?”
“Escamillo” I answer.
“Cute, you know Opera “
“No, a torrid affair with a gypsy woman, I dated a Melody, but never Opera ” I answer.
OK, tell me something that's not superficial” Carmen asks
 A fit bird, pretty, and stylish, but I look in your eyes, and you haven’t been fucked in months. “ I answer.
 “I am not going to answer that, “ Carmen, says.
 “My friends and I are going down the street to Kipling’s pub, for drinks. You’re welcome to come, or you can pretend this never happened and go on your way your living. Sleepwalk through another weekend, or roll the dice.” I tell Carmen.  I leave, and I don’t look back.at the pub, Misty and Leni have commandeered a good table. My default drink is waiting, waitress Alexi waves hello I hand her a DJ tip and tell her, “In two songs-Tumbling dice, please.”
 I hug hello take a chair where I can see the door.  I see Carmen I wave her over, and she sits next to me Alexi takes her order, and Tumbling dice comes on. The women introduce each other, size up each other. The women all go to the bathroom, and all return to the table. I am gathering, that this is happening. I pull her close, she leans against me. After a polite interval and small talk Leni, and Misty leave. The dance begins. A kiss turns into a scream.
 I wake up Carmen is gone all that is left is a stiletto on the nightstand.
I stumble into the shower let the water wake me wrap a towel around my waist go downstairs. I can smell coffee Leni, and Misty look conspirtal.  Leni speaks first, “Where’s the woman?
“ Your guess is good as any,” I answer. Misty hits me with a look of disbelief.
“MR. Romance, strikes again, “ Misty, said laughing.
 I thought we were all cool?” I said.
“2 girls, and a guy,” Leni says taking a sip of my coffee.    and continues, “still works we’re both MSing. “ They don’t drink so I am the only hung-over one.  Leni and Misty look at each other with evil intent Leni starts “Oh! Oh!” in a shrill tone. Misty starts “Fuck me! Hard!” I am laughing and splashing coffee all over, “OK, OK I get it, she was a screamer,” I said.
“What was she to you?”  Leni asks
“Some woman,” I answer I was some man, just left a stiletto nothing wrong with that.  It’s how we all started a random meeting, chemistry.  I was some man, and you two were some woman.

25 June 2016

25.06.16-alone
I was
born alone
I will
die alone
I trip
every world
or
on fire
is dead
rumour-
sun shines
I know 
not
if not 
fine
can’t go home
they incinerated it
 feeling  you
so strong 
tonight
I won’t
sleep alone
Flaming dead worlds
fuck ’em
you’re
My world tonight

23 June 2016

23.06.16- stiletto
she lost
her stiletto
not her
pride
not 
her
grace
not
her
style
not
her
heart
she danced 
on an aphrodisiac
Fevered 
she danced 
in bed
all desire and poise
morning
a single stiletto
on the night stand
she lost
a
stiletto


05.03.16-Tension
Anger
Barren
Cold
Anger
Silent
Stress
Just cold
I 'd be gone
Numb
Praying
for
Firery
Crash
Melt the ice
Dead
Better
Than
Numb
zombie

05.03.16-Tension
Anger
Barren
Cold
Anger
Silent
Stress
Just cold
I 'd be gone
Numb
Praying
for
Firery
Crash
Melt the ice
Dead
Better
Than
Numb
zombie

21 June 2016

21.06.16-ache
sweet lies
truth
can’t decide
don’t  care 
don’t ache
for me
come to
me
or 
disappear
pick one
I
Can’t
Be arsed

18 June 2016

18.06.16- metamorphosis
other worldly
alien
surreal
demonic 
fingers 
strong
supple
caressing 
exploring violating
pulling 
underground
a little sacrifice
pleasure
pain
lines 
blur
fantasy
reality
waking
dreams
metamorphosis

17 June 2016

18.06.16 delirium
hitting me like china white 
straight into me neck
to place I 
I cannot name
in my soul
hallucination 
MUSE
WHORE 
MADONNA 
Gypsy vibe
You won’t be here
come morning 
That's cool
everything
BEAUTIFUL
SACRED
SEXY 
is 
transient in nature 
I will have the memory 
like a delirium 
from some tropical fever
images of you 

17.06.16-rebel angels
from 
fly over country
stunners
practised walks, and expressions
touting 
Ford
Wilhelmina
Elite
Storm
BEAUTY
PASSION
always in 
FASHION
Vampyres wait
Champagne and cocaine
summer fling
closer to heaven
Rebel Angel 
in bed

17.06.16-love in the time of  skag
sorcerer's
alchemist
outlaws
young gods
in the 
throes
of 
each other 
destruction
creation
each other
mainlining
SEX
SKAG 
MUSIC
ART
What  mortals 
Call
love

16 June 2016

15.06.16-heat
I feel 
it
scent
musky
the feel
hot, wild
dance
fertility rite
dark dive
cold drinks
hot mess
 scorching music 
your 
heat 
ignites
ceremony

15 June 2016

15.06.16 Dead day
lose 
one fight
out 
of
fire fight
details
are
in
me
scars
me walk
pronounced
at
scene
DOA 
everything
Changed
nothings
changed
died like
I lived
One in the 
Chamber
Amp on 11
Life
Was
lush
dead
is
dead

14 June 2016

42.06.16-rendezvous
a hotel
with
 ducks 
Polo lounge
with
cabana
Park and 60th 
With
Stares from 
everyone
 constants
Chopper
You  on 
Covers
Tele
everything   
but 
roller skates
and
vampyric rider waiting to feed on your beauty
champagne
white lines 
rendezvous
slices
Of
desire
love
US

12 June 2016

Dead eyed crone -10.06.16
remind us
what
combination 
of schedule  one
controlled substances
what
self-loathing
made 
soulless
dead eye crone
made you  seem
attractive
talented
anything
but
a narcissistic
dead eyed  crone
what 
STD left
you hollow
dead inside
I/m better
Than a dead eyed crone

Stations of the Cross-12.06.16
Missing  you 
Sweet apparition
 the station’s 
as I ride the train
port authority
Second Ave
We score
Bowery
Helping you walk
Music
Meeting   my ex 
Houston St
You can’t walk
Putting you on 
Me bike
They strap you to a gurney
You turned blue
I went dark

joyful mysteries 
sorrowful mysteries
all thee mysteries that 
 are  you

11 June 2016

11.06.16-not knowing
are you 
 truly alive
are you 
conscious
are you
 multi-orgasmic
are you
experienced
are you
planning
inventing
are you 
inspired
painting
are you
inspiring 
poetry
dreams
lust
are you 
happy
no
don’t  tell me
I like 
Sacred mystries

11.06.16-lost
you  lost 
your 
voice
you lost
your  
 firey heart
you lost 
your 
soul
you lost
me

09 June 2016

Veiled one
shock
Pale blue eyes
abresque flavours in
in
the souk
spices
foods
strange
words and objects
pushed at me
opium dream?
Attracted ?
Repulsed ?
assumptions
that
You made
Of the pale
Stranger
I am not
From the world you think I am
really
Much further
Underground
Assumptions about
You
Mystre
Something wild
Under layers
Not expected
From
The vieled
ones


Rhythm of Us
I arrive first. I order double grey goose rocks for her, as she drinks it like it was water, and a Tanqueray tonic, which is my water. Open a tab. Grab my preferred table back to the wall, and I can see the door.
Emmie stands out anywhere, but here especially in this dive. She comes through the door, sundress, high-heeled sandals long blonde hair, and actually natural, of all blondes I have known, and that’s more than you would guess, one of handful that are not dyed. Her eyes the steely blue colour of the skies of the St. Petersburg of her youth.
She glides over grace of dancer. I notice a group of men at the bar watching her I stand pull a chair out for her she hugs me and we share a long kiss before she slides down into the chair. She sees the fivers on the table take one runs to the jukebox.  Soon her song comes on “Do You Feel Like We Do, over decade before she was born. She dances equal parts Bolshoi, and pole dance. I don’t like the way the morbidly obese man in cargo shorts flip-flops and dirty T-shirt is eying her. She gyrates back to the table I kiss her caressing her. I am claiming her, because I have a sense of what is coming.
Tammy, 2 Sauza Silver and 2 Corona backs, please I say to bartender who delivers them to table and retrieves the used glasses I down the Sauza, and ask Emmie to the ladies for a moment so, I can make a call.  I pull my phone out and she leaves.
The man gets off the stool, and comes to the table.
He asks in a thick boozy drawl “Do you mind if, I …”
I cut him off, “Actually, I fucking do fat sod” I say standing quickly, sliding phone shades across table.
“Look Frankenstein, my buddies and I just want to know how much does the whore cost,” He says laughing.
“Fuck you! I scream stomping his foot with my Doc Marten work boot.
I bring my right straight into his solar plexuses, followed by an open palm to nose, and he drops his 2 friends rush over. As he crumples to the ground have only landed a punch to my shoulder
.”Who’s next?!” I scream, and grab a corona.
His 2 friends stop short. One with, dirty crew cut hair say “What did you do to him?”
I answer “Broken nose, possibly broken toe too. Lot of blood not too much damage, considering he insulted my girlfriend and me. Take him home; Choose life cracker!” breaking the bottle to drive home the point.
Emmie runs over hugs me. I look to see Tammy with a phone, and baseball bat on the bar. I give the men time to leave. I ask Emmie, “Your place?”
“Da” She answers wrapping herself around me. Tammy says, “I’ll close your tab can you sign?” she points outside, and says I think they left. Emmie is attached to me, as she were holding on for life I can feel her tremble just a wee bit
“I see what you did, because of me,” She says in a heavy Russian accent. Emmie says in car, and adds, “Husband out of town.”
I scanning for vengeful crackers, not seeing any we go her car I tuck her and as I close the door I see Tammy and her boyfriend watching over us; she has me back.

“Let’s go “ I say. Our relationship is easy not complicated.  Language barrier, and the spouse effectively rule out a lot. I get what she means if not what she’s saying. Time with a Russian Model in Berlin mean I know simple phrases, listening for what she’s trying to say
“Tammy say man call me Blyadischa … I look like Blyadischa?”  She says   strained upset strained on verge of tear, a nerve was hit.
“No it’s that, I am the way I am full on waking study in demonology, and since I am like this and you’re beautiful they thought I must be paying you. It was jealousy, that fat sod saw you and saw me and wanted you, and got angry, and then he got a lesson.
“You’re really into me” she says a little excitement.
“Da, I fancy you,” I answer. I am hoping were not morphing again. I like us.  Us work have, actually, as close as we have ever come to discussing this.
I walk around to get her car door, and when I open it she hands me her panties, silk lacy black, walks to the door quickly I follow.
I walk in she is putting music on this time Manon of Spring.  An Emmie strip then begins to dance to it. Classical Ballet her body, I am chuffed. Emmie stops I kiss her and caress her body slick from sweat, her human perfume is musky. I pull her to a sofa and lay her on it. . Each time is the first time, with her, as she’s never the same woman twice. The only constant is a level few achieve, or dare. Tonight she’s submissive needing to be held, and caress I caressed her gently
Feeling her nipples erect under my fingers her breathing fast and laboured. Her hips are beginning to rise and fall rhythmically. I step back teasing her, as I undress. I undress quickly notice her landing strip waxed in the shape of heart kissing my way down nibble her labia as her hips rise and fall I kiss her inner thighs. I caress her she responds, with moans. Emmie is ready. I don’t speak Russian but I know what guttural scream means. I take her; she wraps those long, strong legs around me. She is the Bolshoi of sex, a revelation, and a celebration.  What ever we lack in language we make up here.
She rises and pirouette’s SautĂ© toward bedroom a large bed. Beside the bed standing on toes, then in a graceful gesture into the bed. Resplendent in her beauty and body toned, supple, exquisite the ballerina, she might have been. I love her seduction dance.
She lays wantonly waiting I roll into the bed. I pull her by the hair kissing her roughly. She responds pressing against me, hip grinding as I push inside her. We have rhythm she moves with me. Wrapping around me, then straddling me facing away, gutturally moaning, and arching her back. I kiss her neck and caress her, and rub her clitoris I notice she is watching us in a dresser mirror.  I feel her begin to shudder, and she is growling and screaming.   Then quiet wrapping around me. I go to her kitchen find a bottle of Veuve Clicquot brut, and glasses. Opening champagne starkers’ into the flutes. Laughing at the though of her husband finding me.
We  touch glasses , and drink. She mimes sleeping I listen to the music, and the rhythm of us, as she drifts away.

08 June 2016

09.06.16-confused
You must be confused
There is no
There was no 
Will never be any
us
and
that's for the best
It was 
Hollow
So, no I don’t
Owe you
Explanations
Apologies
Or even a good bye 
As
I walk away
You’re confused


01.06.16-chopper
voyage
nowhere
everywhere
lowering
 heaven
raising hell
my life
art
a
chopper
telecaster
switchblade
living
 on 
living
days 
into 
weeks
weeks
into 
myth
dark rider of the apocalypse
punk mistrel
photo
Someone I used to be
me chopper

05 June 2016

Gitane’s after sex-05.06.16
Bluish smoke 
Rising over us
Body’s damp with sweat 
clothes scattered 
A stilettos heel under 
the pillow
music
half a litre of wine
nothing 
else
exists
just 
Gitanes  ater sex


03 June 2016

03.06.16-ghost
an urban legend
an angry wraith
Avenging apparition
you conjured me
called me from 
my slumber
for 
protection
kicks
there are 
consquences
ravenous
pursue
feed 
ghost
03.06.16-watch
It’s losing fight
You’ve been fighting
Your wounds show
You’re too tired
you can’t hide beat
sleep
I  
can watch
heal your wounds
it takes a demon 
to protect a
an angel
a vampyre 
to cherish
your beauty
and drain
a psychic vampyre
lay with
me
I
Will 
Watch 

02 June 2016

01.06/16-L’appel de vide
she calls to me 
L’appel de vide
A sirens call
Beautiful
Sexy
favoured me, with  lead
Lay with 
Holding me tight
then left
have I not 
delivered men to you?
Have I not
loved you
have I not 
danced with you
have I  not 
answered
your call
L’appel de vide