Dinner
It’s an appropriately trendy, and actually good restaurant. The menu has been discussed, orders given. A good choice of restaurants’ to regroup
The discussion turns to, “in the day.” The women speak of horribly flawed exes. Theirs.’ Friend’s, and sibling had. Boy’s/Men with bad habit’s, tempers, and choices.   “It was fun a first so glad I/she got away.” Seem to be the universal theme. Looking back not so much with anger but a different perspective, than early 20’s selves.
I start to laugh inappropriately; they look at me, thinking one to many, Boorish, or just knowingly?”
I explain,  “You know at a different table, that I’m that boy friend.” Now everyone laughs, because it’s true. I’ am the picture of nasty rumours. These kind, and beautiful women tolerate, and at times even celebrate my excesses

Wishful thinking-such an early song

Nighttime

finds me

screaming

daytime

finds me

dry

I am

lean

fast

And breezy

By the time I am

25

I’ll die

Wishful thinking?

23.04.15

me reputation 

Precedes 

me

I 

Worked for it 

a few broken noses

and a couple of broken hearts

so now 

I come 

With

A 

Warning label

You’re safe

In Like

We have tonnes 

Of 

History

Yet 

We just 

Met 

He’s

Me best mate

Because his other friends

Aren’t

A picture of nasty rumour

And like

Him

They are dependable, and normal

I feel it 

Too

Electric and fun

Like

A

Speedball

Love yes/no

How about 

Madly, passionately 

In like?

20.04.15 03:00

The sheer beauty 

Of

Angels 

 Is

 Frightening

It threatens to decimate 

Us 

in its perfection

Just as 

The ugliness, and horror 

of 

demons

Is

Comforting

And 

Familiar

19.04.15

such a 

Nice surprise

A 

gone, gone

girl

with my coffee  

Blonde with 

My darkness

Stiletto’s ad a summer dress 

In sea of denim

Come closer

Closer

Yes there 

Now we will

Speak of

Love and lust

Of

You and me

my mouth devours you

Let

Them stare

Pity them

Life without passion

Is not life at all

They are

The

Walking dead

04.14.95
In a bar
Next too
The place
Where my friend dances for men,
you say she sells  herself
nicotine  stained lungs I speak to you in tongues
And you say my life is a mix of Picasso, Kerouac
Lines, gin and women
I am too high to notice to gone to care
You say my
Madness comes from sadness
Then you
Quit saying anything
Still I miss you
Sometimes

13.04.15

You hand me a beer and a smile

I’m an Angel headed hipster?

You can’t hide

Beat

What will 

The neighbours, say?

We walk too close!

We whisper!

Does, he know?

Does She know?

We know

Angel headed hipsters

And 

Gone beat girls

10.04.15

Permafrost

just cold

worst than anger

Passionless

Bloodless 

War

I 

Get

The anger

The hot blood

The passion

This is 

abandonment

09.04.15

you thought t

that 

was a show

no that is me

I’m  given to extremes

I care for her

And 

She for me

She’s

Lovely

Quite so

So

Sorry

That's really her

And this is really

me

The Gift
“Donnie, you notice that shite Ford been behind us all night?” I ask and check the mirror.
“I’ll bet Steve’s behind this! He’s having me followed because I left him!” Courtney rages
“It’s got be the guy in the khaki’s, you know the one who shows’s up with a newspaper everywhere we go.”
“Lets go get my car we re making this too easy.” It’s at her apartment Donnie starts driving there.
We pull into the complex.
“Blimey he’s half a block away he must’ve trained in Quantico,” I say. Inside Courtney’s flat, she makes drinks. We turn the stereo up. Don and talk she paces nervously.
“OK Love, we’re going out again you’ll sit in my lap. She is the younger soon to be Ex-wife of an oil executive, and 27 she’s a bit older than his kid, and lot older than me. She has long blonde hair a perfect tan, flawless body, and enhanced breasts. Tonight she’s wearing a little black dress and stilettos. She’s hard to miss especially in the places I go. We go to that concrete bunker, and the cathedral of 3-chord rock.
One of my friends run’s a little reconnaissance.
She walks by” 9mm. Ankle holster, and a newspaper. She smiles and keeps walking
“The port, Big Man owes us one!”
Mick comes by “I got all the film opens his jacket hands me film containers. I reach into my jacket and give him 2 glycerine packets. He hands me the canisters.
I exposed the film in the camera too, Reedy put the light from his Lambretta scooter on it.
“I’ll remember this, Thanks’ mate.” I shake his hand and slip him a 20$
“Getting in the car Don said, “II hope he doesn’t get lost.”
A candy apple red Corvette with side pipes and no top in the worst parts of town, even Clouseau can follow that, “ we laugh getting into the car. Courtney is light maybe 7 stone maybe 1.8 metres. A tall cool drink of water. We head for a bar on the port; our little friend behind us.
We file in go to big man’s table and pay respects. A waitress instantly brings drink the mountain of a black Man that, is big Man motions us to sit down. Donnie ‘s about 1.9 metres 16 stone looks smaller.
“Why you here dressed like a biker”” he says smiling.
“I got a little problem, the cracker sitting in his car looking scared,” I answer.
“He needs to go?” Big Man smiles.
“ I want him gift wrapped,” I answered laughing. Donnie and Big Man roar with laughter. Big Man signals waitress brings drinks bend over as he whispers.


He smiles folds his hands we chat while a band plays funk in the background.
The waitress hands me a paper bag in it car keys a Smith and Wesson 9 mm. a wallet a P.I. badge
Big Man laughs and says” he in the trunk of his ford.”
Don grabs the keys, and say’s Let’s make a delivery”
I shake Big Man’s hand, and ask, “We cool baby?”
He laughs “get your white ass out of my club, it’s dark out.” laughing,
Outside Donnie opens the boot says something and closes it.
When I get in the car Courtney burst with questions, “Oh my God is he alive!?! Who was that what is Donnie doing? Where are we going? “ “What exactly is it you do for a living?”
“OK yes alive, and pretty uncomfortable. Don is telling private investigator with  Chris Dell that his info has been photocopied and that if he doesn’t give us a bother he will be OK. We are going to leave him on Steve’s Porch with a note, “Do you think you’re playing with children?” “I work at clubs play guitar when I’m lucky, and that's all you want to know .”
“OK I will smile. She answers.”
“I am not just a  teenager you ask all the questions you like, I ‘m just giving you a gift.
Driving through the quiet posh neighbourhood . We pull down the street from Courtney’s soon to be ex. Don Carries the  Chris Dell private investigator leaves on the porch rings the bell runs to my car, and starts driving. Like leaving a Halloween prank. “You couldn’t drive something less obvious,” Donnie says for the millionth time.
A few months later Courtney gets a generous settlement

Fading photo
Blair shows me photo so, old; do I remember? A bit, the Tri-Delta softball game, a night on 6th street, too many drinks, and a fight.  Woman at that overrated club, “How is she punk?”
Turning to her boyfriend, you want to muzzle the bitch she’s getting on me nerves. Mate.
  He turns his back on me. Never sees the punch open palm to the ear. He screams in pain and charges me at that point a hip throw introduces him to the floor.
Hard core still going off, I am calling the police!” I just walk off her swings are clumsy and easy to deflect. I don’t fight women. A friend, Jewel’s also a hard-core girl nails her with a full can of beer, in her face.  She drops to the ground. A fiver, and a kiss to Jewels to cover her beer, and the next bar. Then we can’t go back to the sorority
Then cool spring night. A friend with a sofa. You sneaking in the morning. Me promising to show up to cheer. There I am in the stands later  a tux shirt leather jeans and black-out shades in a sea of prep.. I just watching you not the game so hung over gauloises hanging out my mouth  flask of tequila in my hand. Yeah, I remember me and you, Fire and Ice always steamy, never dull.  

03.04.15

Blond, blue eyed Moses

Frees

 My Ancestors’ from 

Blond blue-eyed pharaoh

Who can argue with?

 Sanitised for the masses 

Fairy tales

So I celebrate

In the art show 

I am

Always closer 

To heaven

26.03.15

trained to defend

Empire and Queen

Before I could shave

the best and brightest

Widower

At 16

Jilted by death my favourite lover ,

At 22

The Bus
A young man walk’s up to me, and I notice bad ink, all over his face. Oh an encounter with some disenfranchised excon; now I can die.
He point’s at the tear drops “Do you know what this mean’s?” He say’s proudly.
“One of us got caught, now step back before I smoke you like Marlboro.” He looks confused, and walk’s away. I’m still a radge.

20,03 .15

Need an Uzi to cut this shite

And

It's 

Low

Low

I Want  to just 

Be 

Done

It's

Low

Low

I want to go underground

I

Want 

to 

see 

poppies bloom

I

Want to 

To 

Come

Home to you 

But it's

Low

Low

Come 

Home

To 

You

Still it's

Low

Low

Temper, Temper
You were by my side when I was cautionary tale. I went from zero to a hundred my fist colliding with someone, a roundhouse kick. It almost went with the music.  I had evolved from guitar player to urban legend.  In the concrete bunkers we lived in every night who I was and how I earned the benjy’s in my bloody, bloody left hand were common knowledge. It was still all about the music, but the Saturday thing had crept into Wednesday, then I decided to go dark. I guess then, I only acted like monster, and not so much looked like one. The graffiti, after they took me down, by that Rasta god I called friend at the dive we began so many nights at. Me lying on the ground weapon in hand bleeding, dying. Caption “T’was beauty killed the beast!” in the background a tall woman walking away.
The women, oh the women you witnessed them all, actually liked one or two. A favourite moment when you walked over the model/actress to meet the one I was chatting up. I look at you, and say. et tu Brute, “ both  women looked so blank. You manically laughing, because you knew they were from rival agencies the equivalent of Montague’s and Capulet’s in those circles.

Do you remember, pushing me in a wheelchair, when that girl started crying, calling my name?” I didn’t even have to ask, we just left. You were there, and I remain forever in your debt.
After
You of all people should know, that some of that shite they were talking in E 10th Ave was true. In all the time you’ve known me I have never been more “civil.” Yes, I get angry, but I haven’t medicated away the parts of me, which might tend to disturb others, nor do I have any intention to do so.
If I don’t fit into your life in the V.2 I apologise and understand, and I’ll be sad for a while, but this is whom I am for better, or worst. It’s better that you remember me that way I am, than I put on an act when I am around you. I love you too much for, that.

21.03.15

He’s always

At work

She comes 

Smiling 

And easy

When he is gone

I wouldn’t confess to the dark one

She comes, and she comes

I accept her 

With a light touch

No need to speak

Just

An embrace, 

That tells all

And 

I don’t fear him

And I don’t hate him

I get being alone

And she comes

And

She comes

And she comes

I get being alone

Tour guide

 I have 0% of getting into heaven, and I am not worried. I can hear the greetings shouted out as I enter hell. Satan and Beelzebub appear, I yawn and ask for the lake of fire to light my gauloises. Upside I can smoke again
Satan looked confused asks for my file. He starts reading taps Beelzebub they walk off, and talk Satan come’s back, and say’s “I have looked over your history, and there’s nothing here you haven’t seen, you qualify for our tour guide package. “
I answer “Brilliant, where do you keep the fallen Angel’s? There a lounge that, looks cool.
The women are amazing. I just have to avoid some my exes.  Tour guide show people Hitler, Stalin, Nixon, W and Cheney
The bans are cool, we all knew we were headed here; just didn’t care.
I feel at home already. I recognise a lot of people. I hear my name shouted every so often. The fallen angels are serious party girls.  My exes are still arguing who’s set   in Mademoiselle was better. Who had more covers. This isn’t at all much different from my last life.  I am going to see a show tonight, with a fallen angel tonight;I fit in just fine.

 Punk’s Storming   Heaven

Sweet one, friend, lover, and comrade in arms.’ Just walk away from posers’, sycophants, and self-important, self-righteous old fucks. They are not worthy of your attentions. 

You haver lived the life, and continue to live, dream, and be it. You recognise the sacred music. You both, create it and savour it. You and both have experienced the stigmata and screamed in ecstasy as it appeared on our arms and in our souls.

One day we will storm heavens gates armed with sacred switchblades, clothed in blessed black leather. Punks’ mobs, looking like a cross between the nomads of the “Mad Max,” and “Sid and Nancy.” Refusing to pay cover and demanding, drink tickets. Walking back stage, and chopping heavenly lines. Shooting heaven straight into our necks. 

Don’t be angry, but instead pity them, as they have not your grace, beauty, and talent.