Coffee
We both feel it there’s just no need to talk about it Paula waves me over, and mimes coffee.  I am in my music I follow. I watch her walk towards her Mac mansion. I don’t say much I listen.
 “Linda is being such a bitch, and no it’s not that she’s already been through menopause, and I am not due for a week.” Paula said.
“Note to self, avoid Paula, in about 3 days.” I say laughing.
She punches me in the arm. Paula said, “that's’ mean,” laughing at me.
I follow her inside. Walk with her to the table. It feels like this has happened more than once.  She snatches my iPod giggling like a child, and connects to stereo Maria Callas, singing Gypsy song from Carmen. She looks disappointed. I have 12,000 songs and change, and I love music, because music and art make everything better.
“I’m actually impressed; you have more depth, than I thought when I first saw you chatting, with our enhanced neighbour. “ Paula answers.
“Did you know she is a lawyer, and I went to law school with, her?”
“She doesn’t look like one, and you really don’t look a lawyer; you’re too nice” Paula answers. Flipping her hair.  I am hearing a voice saying walk away, be carried away, either way work’s for me. ”  The voice is mine an earlier incarnation. I am not that nice.
“I dropped out, it seems law school and I had irreconcilable differences you wouldn’t be judging. Women are so harsh, and competitive, with each other.” I said
“I know, and I’m in a bad place right now, do you think I am pretty?” Paula asks.
“Is this a trick question, because you know I do a lovely a classic face and the body of a runway model. Add those bedroom eyes; is this a trick question“? I answer.
“If I had double D’s?”  She asks’
You know with your slim build, I’m sussing a full B cup, is perfect, and you look busty, with your lithe lean long body. besides neighbours would gossip about you.  What’s going on?” I ask
“Linda has been ignoring me, and I saw her checking out your friend.”
“Look we’ve all been there. There’s a saying for every hot girl there’s someone tired of fucking her, and Carey is easy to look at.  You have been together for awhile she’s always at work probably just stress.“ I answer. I notice, NIN “Something I can never have.” Is playing, and the irony is not lost on me she my mate, but I have thought what would she be like.  I drink some coffee, this is heavy, but she needs a friend.
“Do you smoke?” I ask.
“I don’t, but, Linda has a pack of American spirit in the fridge. She answers.
“I was talking weed, because I have a spliff of some killer purple Kush.” I said.
She nods yes smiling
I pull the spliff from my pocket hand it to her she bends over for me to light it.  She inhales deeply and hands it to me, and I hand it back.  The ritual goes on until we have smoked it all. She refills my coffee adding a measure of rum.
“I want to see your pictures, let me see your iPhone.” Paula says playfully.
I unlock it with my thumb and hand it to her.
“Put it on the old photos.” She asks.  I comply, and wait for questions.
“You had a chopper, damn you were ripped. “ Paula says. I wait for questions about women, because they’re coming.
Paula shows me a photo of Aime, and me. I’m happy me shades are on because I’m damn good, but she’s me kryptonite.
“You still have bandages here, yet I see tickets in your pocket.”
“I still had a cane too. Aime never saw that, she told people when I got caught in that 3 way burn Lucifer popped up to repo my soul, and I shot him 3 times in the face. I miss her.”
“Bad break-up?” Paula asks
She left me, she OD. I answer.
“ I didn’t mean to” She starts precariously.
“It’s cool, I am OK.” I answer
“I think we should move to sofa.” Paula said, as we begin to go to the next room “Champagne Supernova comes on the IPod. Apparently the IPod is now some sort of ironic sound track today.
“I like this one Paula says .A picture of me goofing with an old girlfriend.
“She’s’ a lot of fun.” I answer. She looks at me quizzically.
“We still talk, “ I offer.
“You’re in your teens there?” Paula asks
“Yes, she still very much a sweet person, with a big heart. “ I said. She leans into me and we kiss it’s a good kiss. Then we just hold each other.
“What now?” Paula said.
“Just friends no pressure no expectations I care about you, and I think you like me. I think you’re insecure right now. I made you feel attractive, and it was an affectionate gesture, not anything else I understand. “ I said
“I am in a committed relationship, and a Lesbian woman. “  Paula said
“I understand, and I am not trying to change any of that, besides the pieces of our pain match” I said. She’s still holding me.  She lays her head on my shoulder. I feel the energy we’re Ok. The man who was fought, and the women who is an object of desires.  I just sit with her until I realise things have to get done.
“Coffee, soon” she says hugging me
“Coffee would be brilliant” I saying leaving.