Beyond reach-31.12.20
western sky
Constellation of the Cowgirl mermaid
She dances on the sands of the Milky Way
myth
a jealous god threw her high in the sky
out of reach
of poets
artist
who sought
her
seduce her
Je ne sais quoi: a quality that cannot be described or named easily 2) muse
je ne sais quoi
commit to paper, canvas, soul
she dances on the sands of the skies
poets watch from underground
stars
beyond reach
Seeing other people-14.12..20
crossfire at the cathedral
old idols tumble
Kinetic: a certain place or area is violent.
Kinetic energy
forever? down underground
always same
death and glory
birth and death
betwixt
absurdity
same candles incense
holy holy
blood communion
rituals
the stigmata of my disease
you’re sex
your sex
it’s/You’re
on fire
me
never live in the future
never live in the past
no eternal reward will forgive you
for wasting NOW
I am seeing
who cares
I am seeing
who my friends are
I am seeing
Visions:; Visions are understood to be the product of God's self-communication.
visions
I am seeing
the feint within the feint
I’m seeing
art
Line of Fire: the expected path of gunfire or a missile
I am seeing
lines of fire.
I am seeing
saints
Sisters of Mercy: a programme for instructing and training poor girls, distributing food and clothing to the needy, and performing other works of mercy. 2) a band
Sisters of Mercy
care for me
don’t worry about me
I am seeing
other people
t’s you-08.12.20
It’s not me
Psychosis: mental disorder in which thought, and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality
It’s your psychosis
It’s not me
Paranoia involves intense anxious or fearful feelings and thoughts often related to persecution, threat, or conspiracy
It’s your paranoia
It’s not me
Insecurity: uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence 2) needing constant external reassurance
it’s your insecurity
It’s not me
Depression: a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.
It’s your depression
It’s not me
It’s you
she’s Mermaid -26.11.20
she’s
in
room 575
Mermaid Hotel
she won’t like it
pool not ocean
Jonesing: Craving, desire, or need something or someone jonesing
Premonition of a soul?
the monotony of desert
assaulted blinding sun
she dances in the sand
we should go swimming
Mermaid: a half-human sea creature with the head and trunk of a woman and the tail of a fish comprising magic
Mermaid
as you were-26.11.20
before
I bored you
before
your psychosis
told you it was me
before
I gathered poppies, coca and fled underground
Before
Your madness filled the room
when
you
were me
lover
when
you
were me
muse
As you were: standard military command. It means, literally, "[return] to your previous posture" 2) before you gave into your psychosis
As you were
Stranger
Stranger -14.11.20
Young women don't kiss me goodbye
Existence improbable
There must
Be
some way out
because night
Random
Soaked
in
Gin, smoke and sex
Stranger sleeps
Name?
It’s all the same
Her body illuminating
the room
write to it
her body
dictates prose
Step outside
of time and space for 1,000 millennium
Step back into
the hellscape
Still nothing
is
known
Attachment is the source of all suffering.” Buddha
Step out
Find redemption
in
Stranger: a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar. 2)unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand.
A
stranger
visions-13.11.20
at the intersection
it’s St Jill
forever
beautiful
forever
Attachment is the source of all suffering.” Buddha.
in me
forever
love without exception (holy fucking)
forever
to walking on the roof of the ocean
Visions: is something seen in a dream, trance, or ecstasy 2) enlightenment
to have visions
to know that
ALL
Punks
ALL
musician
ALL
artist
in any form
are
Saints
My visions are true
Quien es-09.11.20
Existential outlaw
Existential: meaning of Being 2) the difference between being and nothingness.
on the run
reality
controll
illusion
did I
betray her
if so
because
I could
because
she said I would
I am whatever
you say
I am
gliding
betwixt planes
pink spiders
hunt me
some seek to classify me add me to their collection
General Tom Thumb: a dwarf whose rose to fame as a circus performer
exiled and shunned
from the 3 beer circus
by
General Tom Thumb
too far underground
a drink
loose exile
a dime
Quien es?-Billy the kid's last words answered by a bullet to the heart
a knock
Quien es?
Us-.09.11.20
no
don’t hate
her
no
don’t hate
him
she’s
around
when
he’s
not
around
coming
down
into
my lair
mermaid in a cowboy hat song echoes
There’s
Her
There’s
he
there’s
me
Us:used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people as the object of a verb or preposition. 2) an understanding betwixt lovers
There’s
No
us
Resonate-05.11.20
Ilsa forever gets
on that
plane
I forever stay
on this
plane
Here words
echo
those
words
those
emotions
aching
like
a new
drug
shelled
engines drown sound
various chemical drown the pain
stiff upper lip
Laszlo is a good person
Abomination in jeans
Abomination: I am a thing that causes disgust or hatred
yet
Resonate: 1) produce or be filled with a deep, full, reverberating sound ((her heartbeat)2) evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions. 3) an echo in my psyche she causes through words and will
she resonates
Haunted-27.10.20
ghosts
living
dead
over
me
like a swarm of flies
walking cemetery
peaceful
the living
envy the dead
grey skies
there’s a scent in the air
don’t trust it
Mercury tipped bullets
mercury tipped bullets: explode on impact.
no mercy
no regrets
not PTSD
reflex
these
won’t be stopped by bullets
need
shaman
not
a
priest
need
a fix
not
a
hug
Haunted: Haunted: to appear habitually as a ghost 2) obsessed by memory or idea
haunted
Pieces-21.10.
these are the Pieces of
my poems my art
torn
by
her long red nails
matching
the marks on my back
I know one way to
love
I know one way to
fight
to the death
I have traveled the world
I have been o
holy places
looking for
answers
forgot the questions
Catwalk: a platform extending into an auditorium, along which models walk to display clothes in fashion shows; a runway. a rarefied place to celebrate beauty and style
she walked in with catwalk strut
I knew how this would end
from the beginning
Pieces: a portion of an object or of material, produced by cutting, tearing, or breaking the whole 2) what’s left of something after it’s destroyed
in
pieces
In the Mood
I walk into the designer donut shop and Mackenzie n asks, “Coffee black and hot like your women?” Morgan is the uber cheerful pierced inked clerk sweet and pretty. I have said, that once too many times. I smile and take the cup, wishing I was a younger version of me, but the younger me wouldn’t be caught dead here even if the sweet and pretty girl was given to dark young men with bad habits and scars
I am looking at the choices something about the fit woman in athleisure wear seems familiar and the mask isn’t helping. I shake the feeling off. There are local art and locally roasted coffee for sale several gyms and yoga studios in the area. She doesn’t stand out just seems familiar, why I am not sure.
I go to the patio and take my red X marked cornerback to the wall clear view of all entrances and exits socially distanced. That woman comes out, and sits directly across from me, her gaze is intense, even 2metres away
“Good Morning,”, I say to pale blue eyes that smile back. There’s a connection. I pick up my coffee, “Slainte”
“You don’t remember me, do you? I’ll give you a hint; I only have one of my red Jimmy Choo’s. She said.
Synapses fire, there’s something to micro-dosing I play for time. “Of course, love, of course,” I say laughing I am getting something, and it will be here in a moment.”
I am only giving you one more hint, Carmen.” she said.
It comes back to me in a wave. meeting in the gallery then, a pub, then spontaneous combustion
“I take it casual sex, is not uncommon for you.”
“Well blue jeans are allowed “I answer
“That’s clever, now tell me my name.” She says her stare is hard.
“Carmen, but do you know mine?”
“Escamillo” She answers’. I laugh.
“Why so serious,” I ask. “I think we’re past the small-talk stage. I am cool, I sussed that night I could have been any man. I woke up you were gone. I
“You woke up before I left, I saw your body go tense. Then feigned sleep. I thought you might call about my pump.”
“I didn’t get your number, love, and my friends didn’t either.”
“I wasn’t looking to be their wife's sister, and yes I was in the mood even, though I am not sure how you knew” She answers.
“I could feel tension and heat,” I answer.
“Am I in a mood now?” she asks
“Yes, but for something else, not a rematch,” I said.
“You’re good,” she said.
“My name is Marlowe; would you fancy coffee we can talk about the weather. I reckon if you wanted to put it all behind you wouldn’t stop.”
“I think I am in the mood for some conversation and coffee and moves close in, I in middle of plague pull her in. She’s in the mood and moods pass It’s now or never
Stolen moments-3.10.20
Stolen: take (another person's property) without permission or legal right and without intending to return it." thieves stole her love”
Whose moments
Are they
Not ours
Are they the others?
We belong to
Ourselves
We belong
To each
Other
How
Moments: a very brief period of time 2) appropriate time for doing something 3) an emotional reaction
Moments
anyone else’s
keeping them
from my dead cold fingers
stolen moments
Tikvah-29.09.20
a chilly morning
black coffee, blues
agent 575 left us behind
full on reality
Open fire
m203: single-shot 40 mm under-barrel grenade launcher designed to attach to a M16A1
with my surreal M203 let off desert flower grenade
followed by a full clip of Irish roses from my absurdM16A1
575
never turns
she
goes full on reality
I watch
screaming, no! fascism, and hate is there
she jumps
into
mundane
into
ordinary
I can’t
penetrate that veil
I go where we met
the
swirling sands
of
fate
where we swam
beautiful tidal pools of passion
currents of desire
Tikvah: word for hope in Hebrew 2) it also means cord or rope, which comes from a root word that means to bind or to wait 3) a precious drug, that fuels us
I will take my last shot of Tikvah
casting runes 16.06.20
I take chances
I take lives (never proven beyond a reasonable doubt)
Lakota: Indigenous people of North American western South Dakota. 2) another John Doe
Lakota
slow move
switchblade fast
quiet
slashing
gurgling coughing sound
Lakota’s baby momma
Casting Runes: Pagan traditions, divination is done by casting runes
Lakota’s baby momma
casts runes
did she know?
she looks at me
smiles
and casts runes
Walking on stars-20.09.20
morning black coffee & blue steel
an angry fix
Prophecy spray painted on the overpass
Andromeda Galaxy 537,000,000 light years from earth
walking on Andromeda
floating through the cosmos
you’re so far away
need you near
expect little
receive less
fruit of the earth work of human hands
10cc’s clear elixir
you should come
let flow to that Centre in your soul
sanctification takes place when a person enters heaven and becomes totally and irrevocably united with God in the beatific vision.
inside you
I am sanctified
Come with
Me yesterday
Tomorrow
Today
We will walk on stars
demon-18.09.20
I am fear
I am madness
Hieronymus Bosch: (1450-1516) a surrealist painter from Netherlands who depicted the world as passing through the devils’ digestive system
I am a Bosch painting
animated
I walk
betwixt
the living
that I may deliver them
Angel of Death-My crush
pink spider-my lover
woke me
I can’t
drink
medicate
her away
If I live
I will kill you
If I die, I will thank you
I live betwixt worlds
Demons: fallen angels (Revelation 12:7-9), and have the same characteristics as their angel counterparts
you have awakened
demon
Birding-15.09.20
They stared
HER
not approaching
HER
as she was
a
rare and beautiful bird
her unblinking pale blue eyes
taunted them
said
nothing
everything
beauty
HER
currency
took her from the aviary
Aviary: a large cage, building, or enclosure for keeping birds in.
Ithere’s no life
in an Avairy
I took HER
on a white stallion
down deep
underground
own deep
underground
past
the other vampyres
past
pink spiders
past
HER
Past
Redemption
Past
Judgements
Past
Zone 6
to
US
Nod.09.09.20
see your lips move
music from some different world
Pink Spider
infecting
my soul
keep talking
I am nodding along
I am on my nod
Nod: is an act of recognition and respect that is accomplished by raising and lowering your head (nodding)when you see an acquaintance in a public place 2) high. Your neck goes limp and your head just slumps down on your shoulder and just nods at things seen and unseen be4cause you’re betwixt worlds
pink spider venom surging
taking you
morphing
you
until
you a
aren’t
you
quit talking
I’ll take
you
there
can’t hear
just
nod
YES
Comfort inn car park Amarillo-30.08.20
Comfort?
left a friend
rocky mountains
going to the coast
me in
flyover country
am too heavy
to
fly
bars closed
predawn dark
HWY 66
crying the ghosts
of last chance
white knuckle runs
scrolling through photos
big brown eyes
don’t look back
love is
always an amputation
drinking
coffee
benediction commonly means a blessing of persons
benediction
upon the Angels carrying him
away
looking for comfort in
Amarillo car park
Moaning Lisa -31.08.20
seventeen syllables
not enough
Mona Lisa: half-length portrait painting by the Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci 2) an enigmatic smile betrays nothing and everything
Mona Lisa smile
Cowgirl
dancing
on
shifting sands
Mermaid
swimming through
treacherous currents
Codex: an ancient manuscript text in book form
I will search the codex
not counting syllables
Mona Lisa
Transfiguration: complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state
Eyes roll back
Shuddering
Sweet sweat
Animal sounds
into Moaning Lisa
time-23.08.20
I want some
Time: a measured or measurable period, a continuum that lacks spatial dimensions 2) a fairytale to explain how we experience “reality”
YOURS
MINE
OURS
you have more
you can swim in it
like the
Mermaid
you are
future
past
present
dance
with
me
don’t
flee
I need
YOU
more
than want
YOU
wanted
YOU
so long
so bad
you want
time
I can make more
I am alchemist
Alchemist: person who transforms or creates something through a seemingly magical process
dance with me
there’s a place
beyond
TIME
beyond
REALITY
beyond
YOU
beyond
ME
we can dance
in
OUR
time
transfiguration-21.08.20
imagine
a cater pillar waking from
the cocoon
stretching
metamorphosis:a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. 2) a Franz Kafka novella
realizing
everything had changed
you no longer crawl
you fly
thrilling?
terrifying?
both?
painful?
all beauty comes from pain
don’t jump
don’t fall
FLY
"transfiguration:a complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state.
transfiguration is at hand
song hits-18.08.20
like bullet
trust me on this
sucking chest wound
Sucking Chest Wound: happens when an injury causes a hole to open in your chest.
that cavity
pay it no mind
just
a
place
I kept
me soul
don’t miss it
miss her
it was
always going to end like this
she was always
a pink spider
heroin
cyniade
weak distillations
she
would always do what
bullets
skag
knives
coke
car crashes
multi-coloured
universe
of uppers
dreamers screamers
shaking like
the priest
the Priest: William S Burroughs
when the song hits
he one with pale blue skies
song morphs
or is it me
when the song hits
helig OS-12:43 dark-13.08.20
consciousness preceded material
material preceded consciousness
Bishop in there
church of 1 & 0’s
leads worship
cathedral of rare earths
random error
=
kitten hit by car
Bishop
betrays thing
I sussed out
heilig (comparative heiig, superlative am heiligsten) holy. sacred
sussed
helig OS
unfired field theory-:an attempt to describe all fundamental forces and the relationships between elementary particles in terms of a single theorem 2) consciousness
unified field
=
consciousness
Bishop
smiles
starts
math’s
to disprove
divine
Shadows-07.08.20
rich woman
beggar
junkie
thief
instagram celebrity
every word
silence
affront to her
sorrowful shades
comfort
me
shield
me
take
me
underground
me
sanctuary
me
solace
me
sanctifying
me ripped jeans
Aleister Crowley was an English occultist, ceremonial magician, poet, painter, novelist, and mountaineer.
Aliester Crowley
ties me off
William S Burroughs was a primary figure of the Beat Generation and a major postmodern author
Burroughs’
Hits
me vein
sending me to the polar regions
I shall live again
I shall die again
I will dwell forever
in
house of shadows
watching -08.08.20
plague
watching
fascism
watching
from the shadows
watching
no 12 steps to heaven
watching
a shot to heaven
watching
underground
watching the surface
they never loved me
watching
our lady of thousand sorrows
some begged some borrowed
some stolen
watching
Jacobs ladder
Jacobs’s ladder: Jacob did not build the ladder to reach heaven, God extended it to him.
